That last time

Just one more time. Once more, and I'll stop.

Strobe lights chase each other. Sweaty bodies are swinging to the rhythm of the music. The night needs no faces or names, and with the basses beating in our chests, we don't even need hearts. I see her walking. The dance floor suddenly becomes a catwalk, and a fire blaze in my veins. I follow her, gliding through the crowd like a panther. As I get closer, I can't help it. My eyes dive into her curves, ride them until they disappear under the elastic of her jeans. A rush of adrenaline and everybody else disappears. Before I know it, my hands travel on her hips. I wink at her, and her white smile shines in the room. My heart beats fast as I turn her around. Hips glued together. Where does she start, and I end? Why do I love this feeling? I promised myself I was done with this.
A swing of her hips and I forget my good intentions.

One last time. Just once more. Please let me feel this just once more.

A kiss and I'm ready to bounce. In a tangle of hands, we find a taxi. The spicy smell of her skin is my perdition. I'm spiraling, and possessing her mouth is not enough. Her eyes are the colour of the stormy sea; they hold promises of adventure, and I'm ready to sail.

A turn of the keys, and we are at her place. My heart beats painfully against my ribs. I'm still in time to leave, but her moans are kryptonite.

Her slender fingers reach into my trousers, and I can only gasp as I am swept adrift. I close my eyes and promise myself...Just one more time.

I'm washed ashore, onto an undone bed. Undone like my promises. A woman stands before the washbasin, I see her silhouette from the ajar door. Vanessa?Lisa? I don't even know. After a while, I started to call them all pet. Less room for error.

A clock lets me know that it's 1 am. A perfect time for my walk of shame. An unusual urgency fills my actions. I know Nadia will be asleep, but I want to go home. I want to go back to her. With trembling hands, I begin my farewell routine, a procedure refined over the years.

'Gosh, look at the time! I have to go back.' I say while already gathering my things. The woman gets back in the room with predator's steps. Her juicy thighs hypnotise me. I must get going before is too late.

'You sure you don't have more time for this?' she rests her foot on the edge of the bed, and I lose myself in the arc of her leg. With the last scraps of reason, I turn my face away and break the spell.

'I'm sorry pet. I really have to go,' I say as I tie my shoes 'But you can be certain you will see me again.' I give her a wink, and she smiles back.

She asks me to stay for coffee, and I find myself agreeing. Perhaps to dilute the guilt, perhaps to delay it.

As I walk into this foreign living room, my gaze falls on a man smiling in some pictures. Maybe she and I are not that different. I look at her, and feel pity.
I ask for her name, knowing that I will forget it. I ask for her age, and she forgets to mention some years. Game recognises game. A liar recognises another one.

We laugh as we sip our coffee, ignoring the pictures, ignoring his jacket on the hanger behind the door.

As I drink from the enamel mug, I can feel his eyes on me. Judging me, cursing me, hating me. I wish I could tell him to don't be upset. Life is a circle. Today I am the other, but next time... who knows. Maybe he will be the one sleeping with my woman, and I will be the man in the picture frames. Maybe in the end, I'll get what I deserve.

My mind goes to her, my perfect sweet Nadia. My Nadia that is at home waiting for me. My chest grows heavy.
They taught me lying is wrong. But if you do it to protect someone? Can one be forgiven then?