Through the Nights

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

All of the Reasons Why

Their silent heavy breathings spiraled in the air. Nicco's jaw clenched and his hand that was busy relieving the knots in her head fell to her cheek.

Her eyes were beginning to blur. It could be from staying up all night, her clustered headache, or all of the questions running on her mind that wouldn't stop racing.

"Francine . . . "

"When did you realize before na ayaw mo na sa akin?" she asked again.

"Hindi naman sa gano'n—"

"You know we never really talked about it? Even when we were breaking up."

His thumb lightly brushed through her cheek and Francine fought the urge to hold her breath.

There's enough distance between them.

Francine could feel her heart beating in her throat and his warm hand and gentle strokes along her cheek wasn't helping at all. To her, everything felt so close and yet, so far.

She swallowed.

"Did you just decide one day na you don't love me anymore?" she asked, her voice cracking in the midst of her question.

"Hindi."

"Then, what? You just felt it?"

"Francine, hindi sa gano'n. Alam mo naman kung bakit 'di ba?"

"I know. I wasn't good for you."

Nicco took a deep breath. "Hindi na tayo okay para sa isa't isa no'n. Naaalala mo ba? Mas inuna mo akong puntahan no'n tapos hindi ka sumipot ng ilang araw do'n sa taping ninyo."

"I did that because I was tired and drained. Pumunta ako sa inyo no'n kasi gusto kong magpahinga. But you broke up with me that same day."

"Kasi inuna mo ako. Napabayaan mo na rin 'yong commitment mo noon sa trabaho mo."

"That was for us."

"Na hindi dapat."

A breath slowly rolled out of her lips. "I know . . . but at the time, gusto ko rin bumawi sa 'yo kasi super unfair ko na. Do you remember I went on a date kasi kinulit din ako ng manager ko? Na it would be good for publicity and for my status daw? I remember hindi ako nagpaalam sa 'yo no'n kasi—"

"For your work. Naiintindihan ko naman 'yon."

"And it's so unfair na palagi na lang ikaw 'yong umiintindi. I know how you felt that time. You told me it was too much but at the end of the day, you still tried your best para intindihin ako kahit sobrang unfair no'ng situation sa 'yo."

Nicco took in a deep breath as his hand slowly grazed from her cheek down to her arm. "Kaya ka ba hindi makatulog kasi iniisip mo?"

"One of many things," she replied. "I still want to know when you realized you don't love me anymore."

A little smile etched at the corner of his lips. "Hindi naman nangyari 'yan."

"What do you mean?"

A short stream of silence lingered in the air. Francine chewed on her inner lip hard. The surge in her stomach began to spread through her veins from the growing anticipation, and Nicco took in a breath, inching closer with his arm slowly encapsulating her vessel. Pulling her closely.

He swallowed. "Mahal pa rin kita."

"Nicco . . . " Her voice cracked at his response.

"Mahal pa rin kita," he repeated again.

Francine blinked and the tear hanging at the edge of her eyes lost its grip.

She sniffed and his lips was quick to brush the tear away at it slid to the tip of her nose.

"Sorry. 'Di kita gustong iwan no'n."

"I know. You did it for me. Naaalala ko naman 'yong sinabi mo. Na you didn't want to weigh me down. Na I should just focus on my career and nothing else. Na I didn't have to worry about you anymore."

He didn't answer. Somehow, Francine thought that after all the years they were apart, it was all through. Gone and done.

But everything she felt for him was still there, sleeping and hidden away with all of their memories from when they first met and until the day he let her go.

She was wrong. Because she still cared for him as much as she cared about him before.

She sniffed again and another tear rolled down to the bridge of her nose and his face became clearer in her sight.

She forgot the last time they were this close with only a breath away with the rays of the sun peeking through the curtain, spilling all over his skin. He looked so beautiful against the morning light it could almost take her breath away.

"P'wede ko na bang sagutin 'yong ibang tanong mo?"

She nodded. "Okay."

"Ano ulit 'yong iba kanina?" he asked, smiling and holding her closer and closer.

"Why did you kiss me and bakit ako may pasalubong?"

"Ah . . . "

A soft chuckle escaped his lips. "Natuwa kasi ako kagabi. Katatapos lang namin ng ibang kasama ko no'n sa operating room tapos nagugutom na rin ako kaso gusto ko muna umupo saglit kasi ilang oras din kaming nakatayo sa operating room."

Her brows pulled together. "Sabi mo last night 'di ka gaano gutom kaya naghati tayo sa dinner mo?"

He chuckled again. "Oo. Kasi gusto ko sabayan mo ako."

"Nicco, naman!"

"Totoo 'yon. Natuwa ako kasi dumaan ka. Ewan ko pero nakakahinga talaga ako kapag nandiyan ka."

"That's why you kissed me?"

He nodded. "Oo. Saka pang-thank you rin sa dala mong dinner. Gano'n din 'yong pasalubong ko kanina."

Francine took a grip of herself, a bit hesitant to place her arm around him, too. But somehow, she managed to abandon her restraint and allowed herself to just give in.

Ngayon lang, isang beses lang, she thought.

"Tapos ano pa ulit 'yong ibang tanong?"

"I'm here for your peace of mind?"

"Oo."

"Bakit?"

"Kasi worried talaga ako sa 'yo. Palagi kang nagtatrabaho, napabayaan mo na rin sarili mo. Mahirap kaya mag-isa lalo na kapag bagong opera ka pa."

His voice sounded so soft and endearing.

Palagi naman. He always talked to her like that, and she should've recognized it sooner from the past few days they were spending together ever since she was discharged from the hospital.

That even without him confirming how he still feels for her, even with just the tone in his voice, she should've recognized its presence. Because it was still there. Ever present.

Francine couldn't take her eyes away from his lips while he was explaining his reasons why. They looked so soft, plump, and inviting, and she couldn't makeup the words he was saying anymore.

"Kahit na sabihin mong appendectomy lang 'yan. Kaya naisip ko na mas okay kung—"

Nicco was cut off when it was her turn to inch closer, sealing the remaining gap between them by taking his lips just to remind him how much she loves him, too.

Nicco was stumped for a moment and she knows it came to him like a surprise so she pulled away.

"I love you, too," she said, swallowing and engulfing the rush in her veins.

She broke her gaze away from him when her actions were slowly sinking in. But he was quick to extinguish her doubts.

Her gasp was muffled when he claimed her lips, and in that instant, everything just melted away.