I Can Hear Your Silence (A Heartstopper FanFic -- BOOK 2)

15. Guilt

By the time Sarah had sent Portia upstairs to freshen up and get changed into some comfier clothes, all four of them had double and triple texted David, even Charlie. While Portia had been gone, Nick and Charlie took turns scrolling through all the social media platforms they could think of, searching for any activity that might suggest where David was.

They found nothing more recent than an Instagram selfie of David posing in front of the bathroom mirror, bragging about his date, which had clearly been taken not long before he'd had the bright idea to go rifling through his brother's room.

When Portia returned, Sarah ushered her to snuggle up on the sofa and put the telly on.

"We'll eat dinner in here tonight, okay? Have a nice cosy evening." She rubbed Portia's arm sympathetically and Portia gave her a small smile.

"Thanks, Mrs Nelson. I'm sorry I'm such a mess."

"Don't worry about it, dear. And please call me Sarah, okay?"

Portia nodded sheepishly and Sarah left the room to dish up their dinner. Once they had collected their trays from the kitchen, Nick had to move over to the other armchair as it was no longer practical to sit in the same one as Charlie.

Although Charlie was too anxious to eat much, he tried to focus on the usual evening repeat of House of Games. At first, he wasn't sure if it would be okay to start yelling out the answers when he knew them. Oftentimes at home, that would only get an irritated huff from his mum and he'd have to keep the rest of the answers to himself.

But once Nick and Sarah started to join in, discussing the average number of cups of tea drank in the UK every day, Charlie was put at ease.

"You're too good at this, Charlie," Sarah chuckled. "You're making us look silly."

Before Charlie could apologise, Nick cut in. "I'm not surprised, really. Charlie's good at everything. I've gotten used to feeling silly."

"I'm not --"

"Oh, Charlie, dear, just let your boyfriend brag about you," said Sarah, making both of them blush. "It's his prerogative."

Portia had been quiet throughout the whole meal, but a few times Charlie caught her smiling or even laughing at the rest of them. Charlie wondered what her home life was like, wondered what she would be doing with her summer if she weren't here.

Charlie caught sight of Portia's almost empty plate, of Sarah's, of Nick's, then looked down at his own. His hands started to shake even before his brain could start it's spiral. He quickly pushed his tray away onto the side table and drew his legs up onto the chair.

Several minutes later, Sarah saw everyone had finished and stood up. "Anyone for dessert? I think there's some Häagen-Dazs in the freezer. Salted caramel."

"Yes, please," said Portia.

"Thanks, mum," said Nick.

"Charlie?"

The three of them looked around at Charlie's chair.

"Oh," said Sarah.

Charlie was fast asleep, his head pillowed on the arm of the chair. Then Sarah spied the picked over plate of cold food sitting on the table beside him. And Nick suddenly felt very ashamed of himself -- how could he have forgotten to even try to match his boyfriend's eating speed? How could he forget something so simple but important? Had he really been so anxious he'd forgotten to think about how this might affect Charlie?

"I'll take the plates for you, Sarah," said Portia, getting to her feet. "I can get the ice cream, too. I know where the freezer is."

"Thank you, dear."