Never Give Up: Harry Styles/One Direction Fan Fiction

13

Chapter 13

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I was engulfed in blackness and silence. 

Heavy, deafening silence.

It felt hard to breathe, like that silence was crushing the wind from my lungs. I felt like I was floating around in space, the whole world turning without me. I was in a subconscious state of nothingness. Then the moving stopped. Everything was still. As still and silent as the dead of night. I wasn't sure where I was, or what had happened. I just felt free. There was no weight on my shoulders anymore. It was almost a relief, I didn't have to keep trying to be perfect. I didn't have to keep trying to live up to everyone's expectations. Was this what being dead felt like? If it was, I was almost dismayed to say that I enjoyed it. It was peaceful, undistrubed. 

I heard a sound. Was it possible to hear sounds if you were dead? It sounded like someone was shuffling around in the darkenss, their feet steadily scratching over the floor. Watching. Then there was murmuring. Small sounds that I could barely hear. I could feel my heart start to beat faster. Maybe I didn't like being dead after all. Why was everything so dark? I tried to turn around but I felt like I was glued to the floor. I tried to jerk my arms up, to pull myself away from whatever I was stuck to, but my limbs didn't respond to me. 

I wanted to cry. I was so frustrated and confused, and nothing seemed to make any sense. Why couldn't I move around? The sounds that I'd been hearing started to get louder and more pronounced. There was definitely something moving in the darkness. I was almost in a state of absolute hysteria. I was about to burst into tears, the fear finally consuming me. 

Then, something warm. It wrapped its warmth around my hands, winding its way between my fingers like a breeze. It felt like something was with me, not physicially, but spiritually. I had always imagined that this is what touching an angel would feel like. I tried to pick my head up off the ground to see what if I was right, but I couldn't. I pulled harder and harder, never quitting, never giving up. I tried until I could feel myself breathing heavily with effort. I was still trapped, but that warmth never went away. I silently pleaded with the angel to help me; to release me from this horrible state, but nothing changed. 

"I think she hears us," I could hear the angel whisper breathily. The voice sounded distorted, all mashed and jumbled. I thought there was more, but I couldn't make it out. Straining hard, I picked up murmurs from other angels. How many of them were here with me? I felt the warmth spread over my body, and it came to rest on my forehead; soft and delicate. Was it blessing me? I struggled hard against the floor once more, trying anything and everything that might help me get away. 

"Please," I whimpered to the darkness. "Just let me go." I could feel my arms begin to respond almost immediately, not making much progress, but something was always better than nothing. I moved a little more, sending pain licking up my leg, burning like fire. I wanted to scream, and let out all the agony, but I knew it wouldn't make the pain go away, it would only make it worse.

"Did you see that?" I heard another angel say, sounding far away. I looked around wildly trying to see anything. What were they talking about? There was nothing but darkness here. I could hear more shuffling, the sounds getting stronger and clearer. I thought I heard footsteps on tile, followed by more whispering. What was going on? 

"I wonder if she'll wake soon," I caught another say. I silently prayed that they weren't talking about my death. I wasn't ready to leave all my loved ones, I finally decided. It wasn't my time. What about everything that I could've done? The thought of Harry crossed my mind. What about us? I was so hurt, and I didn't know how to deal with it. He'd hurt me so bad, and I wasn't ready to forgive him just yet, even though I was sure that I'd die without him.

I felt something warm and squishy in my hand again. It squeezed gently.

"Can you hear me?" The beautiful, melodic voice asked me. I suddenly realized that I could now open my eyes. Immediately they fluttered open to see Harry, my Harry, sitting with tear stained cheeks right in front of me.