Brown Eyes

Chapter 25

The silence that follows is deafening. You would have thought Peter died if you couldn't feel him breathing against your back. You can't tell what he is thinking without seeing his face. You move to put some space between you, but he only grips you harder, holding you in place. It causes you to squeak, and he loosens his grip so as not to hurt you, but makes it clear you aren't going anywhere.

"I just... I just need a minute okay?" He asks. You nod against him, and try not to let the silence get to you. It doesn't work, and you start to picture all the things that could go wrong moving forward.

What if Peter was lying before, and this changes everything? What if he hates you for keeping this from him? Especially when he was the one who helped you through your mom's death. What if he asks you to move out? Or he moves back in with May? What if he tells Tony and you get fired? The "What Ifs" keep coming until a deep breath from Peter pulls you out of your spiral, alerting you, waiting to hear which one of the scenarios in your head will play out.

"How long have you known?" He asked quietly. You are shocked by how calm he sounds.

"Since I was a kid. My mother never hid it from me." He nods behind you.

"Is that why you never wanted to meet the Avengers or go to the tower with me?"

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you want to meet him?" You take a moment to compile your thoughts.

"I guess I was just following mom's lead. She never told him because she thought he wouldn't be ready, and I believed her. I agreed with her. Maybe she should have given him the benefit of the doubt. I don't know." There is a moment of silence, like he can tell there is more you want to say. "When I used to ask about him, she would answer any question I had. It is something I appreciate even more now, how open she was with me. How honest she was. I aspire to be like that, although I am obviously not doing a great job considering I have literally been lying to everyone for the last couple months."

"You haven't been lying."

"Lying by omission." He grunted at that, and you could tell he disagreed, but you shook it off. "Anyway, when I grew up, I stopped asking questions. It was easy enough to find the answers on the news. Not that the answers were ever good. Looking back, I probably shouldn't have trusted everything I saw."

"Maybe not," he agrees with a small laugh, quickly returning to the serious silence. "I'm sorry," he whispers and hugs you tighter.

"Why?" You ask in confusion. "I should be the one who is sorry."

"For making you go to the tower. For pushing you into something you didn't want to do. For making you feel like you couldn't tell me, or even that you had to tell me. I'm sorry you had to do this on your own." The last part gets you the most, and your breath hitches as tears start to stream down your face. You wipe them away quickly.

"God I hate crying." Peter hums at that, but says nothing else. "Thank you for being my best friend," You whisper to him.

"Always." The two of you sit in silence for a little longer. Watching as the sky starts to turn dark.

The two of you should make dinner, but neither of you seems to want to move, so you just continue to lean against him, waiting. For what you don't know. Just waiting.

"I'm assuming you haven't told him," Peter states, not a question. You scoff.

"Of course not." He hums in acknowledgment.

"Are you planning to?"

"I wasn't, in the beginning. I was just going to work the co-op and then escape. And then I got to know him. Got to know Pepper. Got to know the others. They are a family, you know? You're a part of that family."

"So are you."

"Maybe. The more I get to know him, the more I want to tell him. Give him a chance to be the father I have always wanted. The father I know he can be. But I am so scared of how he will react. If he will even believe me. Peter, I'm scared." He runs his fingers through your hair soothingly.

"I can come with you," he offers.

"Maybe," you state noncommittally. You start laughing lowly to yourself, and you can feel the questioning looking Peter is giving you. "I'm so pathetic."

"Hey, no you're not." You shake your head in disagreement.

"Peter. I left the party because I was jealous of their unborn baby for having Tony as a dad. That sounds pretty pathetic to me." He laughs as well.

"Well, when you put it that way." You smack his arm, the two of you bursting out in laughter. "Who else knows?" he asks.

"I told Bucky."

"I figured if you spent three days with him, you must have been talking about something. At least on your time off."

"Time off?"

"You expect me to believe you two weren't fucking for most of those three days? I have eyes. I see how you look at each other. You were practically eye fucking at the party." You choke on air at that, and he laughs to himself.

"OH GOD."

"I am sure you said that a lot as well." You pull out of his arms and smack his shoulder as he laughs at the bright blush that covers your cheeks.

"Shut up!" He puts his hands up in surrender. "Just one more question... Was he good?" You groan in embarrassment as he starts laughing at you again.

"Do you see me asking about your and MJ's Sex life?"

"You could if you want."

"Ew." He just shrugs his shoulders and gives you an expectant look. "And yes, he was very good." He smiles.

"Well, at least you are getting a good dicking down from all of this."

"Peter I swear to God if you don't stop talking, I am going to suffocate you in your sleep."

"Good luck getting past the spidey sense." You grab the couch pillow and start hitting him with it as he guards his head and laughs. You give him one last smack, and stand up from the couch.

"With all that said, let's eat. I am starving." He nods in agreement, standing up as well. Before you can grab your phone out of your pocket, he pulls you into one last hug.

"Thank you. I appreciate you telling me. And if you need help telling him, or not telling him, I am here."

"I know," you say with a small smile, hugging him back tightly. "Now what do you want on your pizza?"

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I know this one is shorter, but I was on a writing binge and wanted to post it immediately.

Much love <3