Last August my best friend killed himself. His death caused me to do all kinds of shit I hated doing. I was aggressive, rude, and overprotective for his little brother.Tyler is his little brother. Now I'm letting everyone know the horrors I have seen. Tyler is 12. He is depressed. If u talk to him he is smiling and happy but if you were to go to his house. You would see him! He barely gets out of bed in the morning!
If I say I'm fine, I'm lying. All of the shit that happens in my life kills me. I tried to talk to my mom. She said it was just a phase. I believe her. Everyday I look forward to being happy. Loojingnfor a happiness that has been gone for 2-3 years.
I'm never going to get over the death of my best friend. If anyone else I know were to kill themselves. I would cut, be suicidal, and probably smoke pot, be a slut, get drunk and party. I'm not a good girl. But I'm also not a bad girl. I can scary and haunt someone's dreams if they pick a fight with me. I am still aggressive to this day but I have mercy. Sometimes if I get angry enough, I could punch someone's face in.
I wear dark clothing. Black is the basis of my wardrobe. I guess I wear color but not all of the time. I look good in 2 colors. Purple and blue. I wear Black, Gray, and white usually.
The reason for my darkness: bullying. Simple as that. In 6th grade I moved schools. At my new school they had their groups already. The 6th grade was only 22 people. From 6-7 the grade I was bullied. A complete outcast. I hate people because if this experience. In 8th grade, I graduated with 1 friend. But she doesn't understand me. About a week ago I met a guy who understands me.
Alex. The one person who gets what I have been through. If anything he has been through more pain than me. That doesn't happen.I'm beaten down to the core. I have almost died 7 times, I have been bullied at 1 school and the shit at another. My parents r divorced.
This is me. If u read this...fine. But don't go judging me or talking to anyone. Don't private Message me about helping me with my feelings. I'm eternally sad. I hi
