A Tail of Two Lovers

Bowser's Plan

"Goddammit" Bowser sighed. He was thwarted by Mario yet again, but this time felt different. This time he had little desire to do anything but stay in his bed and cry.
"Sire" Kamek said by his side. "What is our next plan?"
Bowser looked at the Magikoopa and grunted. "Nothing. I'm out of ideas. I tried everything! Peach will never love me."
"Well, what if somebody else will?"
Bowser sat up. Why hadn't he thought of that?
"Kamek! Fire up the multiverse portal device!"
He of course had a multiverse portal device because he's bowser.

Meanwhile...

Garfield was hungry. Jon had left no lasagna in the fridge and was away at work. Garfield needed sustenance before he starved to death. Odie was just as annoying as ever, it was as if the dog never slept.
"Shut the fuck up Odie, or I'll stuff you into the oven!"
"Bark!"
Of course Odie never responded in words because he was too stupid. He always made dumb noises like the little bitch he was.
"What did I do to deserve this?" Garfield facepalmed.
The ground shook violently, causing the two animals to bolt upright.
"What the fuck was that?" Garfield asked to no one in particular.
A voice sounded from the yard. Garfield hopped onto the couch to look out the window and saw a large lizard man.
"Kamek, where are we?" The lizard asked
"Sire, I think we're somewhere called Earth."
"Huh. It smells bad here."
"Quite."
Garfield had had enough of this and started hissing at them through the window.
"Hey! Get the fuck off my lawn you assholes!"
The two stopped and turned around to face Garfield. Had they heard him? He shrunk a little at their gazes.
"You! Do you know of any fair maidens in this place?" The lizard asked him.
"Uh... meow?" Garfield responded, afraid
"Sire I'm not sure it understands our language."
"Well, that's odd because your magic should translate, shouldn't it?"
"Yes..."
They stared at Garfield as he realized he was caught, like a deer in headlights.
"Speak to us orange cat." The one called sire said.
"Okay okay I know what you're thinking, what the hell is going on here, and I'm here to be helpful please don't kill me."
The cat sounded just like Mario, which angered Bowser.
"RAAAARGH!" He screamed as fire shot out of his mouth, straight up at the sky.
"Sire, I'm sure this isn't mario disguised as a cat again."
"Who's Mario?"
The two stared at him confused. Had the people here truly never heard of mario?
"Perhaps you will be helpful. You seem to know this place. Why don't you come with us?"
"Oh boy would I love to, but uh, I should wait for my human to get home first." Garfield nodded furiously, hoping they would leave.
"Human? Like Mario? I'll eat him."
Garfield was afraid. Jon eaten? Then he'd never see lasagna again! Maybe he should go with them.
"Actually on second thought, I think I can come along. Let's leave. Right now."
They smashed the window and picked up the cat, before walking down the street in search of a woman.