I lost trust in you.
Forgiveness came easy and everyday for
I loved you.
As In,
I want the best for you
As in even when I hurt you it's because I want....
Once I stoped trusting you, I stopped listening to you.
Evolving self destruction on a wave of no guidance.
Slow suicide yes
Truth came easy to you in my eyes.
Yet you misunderstand me-
I believe it is because the lack of communication within yourself
I see your pain
It makes my heart ache
I cry in my sleep
Dream about the horror I was
For I was horrible
dying inside.
I have a piece of myself submerged in a well of grief and pain and shame.
Shame because I liked who I was, and changed anyway into someone I didn't.
I hated everyone, it felt like everyone's fault, including my own.
I have gaps in my memory that are being filled the more I reclaim parts of myself. The more I admit to my feelings, take up space, be too anything.
The more authentic I become with who I am, the more I remember who I was.
I betrayed myself, for love, for acceptance, for family, for peace, for space, for stability, for safety, for a home.
I let all this shit go.
I let these diseased parts, these decaying areas, these rotting moments GO.
I don't have space for them.
Never again.
Never again.
YOU ARE READING
Kaleidoscope
PoetryA shadow heart A colorful mind A damaged soul What you will read are brief moments into the life of an American woman, someone who craved love, someone who sold herself for it. Included are memories, short stories, poems and letters, to me, to yo...
