6. bottomless drinks

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A/N

QOTC

if you could pick any time a day what part would you choose and why?

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"So what did you have on your mind for tonight?" I ask Arthur who is acting like he enjoys the makeshift pasta.

"I was thinking of a club maybe?" He asks me. I never went to a club with him or even had a drink in front of him because he wouldn't allow a 'child' to drink.

"Im trying to catch up on the youth. Apparently this area has a lot of good ones i saw it on facebook" he says proudly telling me how he is using a app now. I dont even have the heart to tell him that facebook is moslty used by old people.

"A club is okay.." I say unsure. I haven't been to any social thing like that ever. I never had anyone to come with me. I bite my inner lip and take a deep breath. It's just someplace where you dance and drink some stuff and then leave. It's not that hard.

Right. Mhmmm. Totally. It's totally not hard. I can do it. Before I know it my heart starts to take a turn and raising more than ever. "Im going to the bathroom" I announced trying to keep my voice the same as it was.

My mouth feels dry and I grip my hand where my heart is. Fuck. I try to keep it under control but sometimes it just doesn't work. My palms start to sweat and I can already feel the stress building inside me.

I want everything to disappear right this moment. I take a few deep breaths counting to 5 and then recounting for what feels like forever.

In the short time I had allowed a therapist near me he told me that would be the best thing I can do. But right now it feels like it isn't doing shit.

I splash my face with water and keep my hands on my face. Fuck fuck fuck. I look into the mirror and feel like the whole world is spinning around me. Fuck fuck fuck.

I feel like I'm going to throw up this horrible pasta right out. I try to keep it down as best as I can and take one last deep breath and hold it. 3.....2....1.... I count down weirdly calming down.

Okay, I can do it.. yeah I can. I splash my face once again and flush the toilet so it sounds like I was actually on the toilet.

I walk out of the small bathroom and Arthur's piercing eyes are focused on me. I shot him a small smile trying to act like I am a normal person.

"You're sweating" he says and looks disturbed thinking about what I was doing there. "Nah I just took a shower with the toilet water," I say and sit down across from him.

"Do you want any dessert?" I ask him unsure what I even have left. "Uhhh... what do you have?" He asks me and I stand up and walk to the fridge.

The almost empty fridge now makes me slightly embarrassed. I take out a small pack of strawberries I bought when I was hungry at 3 am.

"Strawberries?" I ask him and he puts his hand on his forehead. "Sure" he says and I cut up some strawberries with the same knife I sometimes use while I work.

I prefer to use 1 knife. Everyone knows it. Even though I've only used 1 nobody actually questions it. Maybe its because of fesr or maybe its because they simply couldnt care.

"We need to get you some actual clothes" he tells me and I look down at my clothes "what's wrong with them?" I ask him and he squints his eyes. "You're dressed like a 50-year-old salesperson" he tells me and I stare at him only blinking my eyes a few times.

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