Your Protector

Chapter 44

Taro's Journal—November 13th, 2018

I can't believe how much has changed in the last six months.

Budo and I dropped out of Akademi High School few days after discussing it. It just wasn't going to work in our favor to go to school where we'll still be called crude names and slurs. It was a choice that I felt like I had to make because of the baby, but now I feel that it was the choice that I wanted to make. My happiness has significantly improved since I dropped out, and I think Budo's has too.

We still keep in touch with Osana, Raibaru, and Osoro. They were all disappointed to hear we were leaving Akademi, but they understood our decision. They understood it even more when I told them that I was pregnant.

I told them only a couple months ago, and they were all, understandably, very shocked—especially Raibaru who didn't even know that I was trans. They eventually came to terms with the idea of me and Budo being parents in a few months. Osana has even offered to plan my baby shower, which I'm still considering to have.

I feel bad having other people buy things for me or my baby. Budo's parents already provide so much for me: my online classes, my doctor appointments... I'd hate to be treated like a spoiled princess.

The truth is, I want to go out and get a job to help support myself and the baby instead of just relying on Budo and his parents. But I know exactly what everyone's reaction would be if they saw a man with an obvious pregnant belly. I already get looks every time I go to the hospital for a checkup. It's better for my safety and wellbeing to stay in the house.

So, I spend my time helping Budo's mother around the house. She and I have gotten very close since I moved in. Whenever we don't have house chores to get done, we like to sit and chat about all sorts of things, usually pertaining around the baby. She in really has been a wonderful guide into this new and frankly, frightening, experience. Because of her, I feel more prepared and confident to take care of another human.

She's also the one who has suggested the idea of writing my thoughts in a journal. It makes you feel less overwhelmed when you get your thoughts out on paper.

It still hurts to say... I haven't been in touch with my parents since they kicked me out. Hanako sometimes calls me to see how I'm doing, but our parents don't let her leave the house to go over to the Masuta's to see me. According to her, they have already begun to get rid of anything and everything that reminds them of me.

Well, at least I can say the feeling is mutual. I have very few things left that remind me of them. I don't need them anymore, I have my own family to be happy with.

I'm glad to say that I already feel like a part of the Masuta family. I haven't met any of their distant relatives, and Budo warned me that some of them will surely not be accepting towards us, but I wasn't all that bothered.

I used to be terrified of what people would think if they learned that I'm a gay trans man, which was why I kept it hidden from everyone, even my own best friend. But now, I feel confident. With Budo, his family, and my friends to support me, I don't need to have the approval of strangers.

Have I mentioned just how wonderful Budo has been? I know he's worried if he'll be a good father, as well as a good partner, but I believe he's doing a wonderful job. He already has a job that pays him rather well, and he's been treating me like a prince ever since I began to feel symptoms from pregnancy.

He's been discussing his father about the "Masuta curse" lately, asking him questions like if it's possible to control and change these urges to be less... well, violent. Mr. Masuta doesn't seem that interested in changing their ways, as it apparently has been going on for generations.