Memory Loss

Chapter 7

Things had been going perfectly for Gary and Lydia, almost too perfectly.  Lydia knew things were too good to be true.  Whenever she ended up in a good place things always seemed to go wrong.  It had happened again.  Gary was annoyed with Lydia; she knew he was angry with her.  Though in her mind she couldn't understand why.  Sometimes as they were eating dinner, or watching TV, she would catch him looking at her, almost staring intently.  His gaze burned into her, like he was furious with what she had said to him.  This only annoyed and frustrated her further.  

     She was an adult, her own person; she could make up her own mind and make her own decisions.  Why did he feel like he could do it for her and why did he get angry with what she had decided, it made no sense to her.  They hadn't been sleeping in the same bed; they hadn't been doing anything together.  Now when the boys went to work she would mostly stay at home, other times she would go with them, but she wouldn't spend time with Gary.  The boys noticed that they were distant from each other; they couldn't understand why as they knew Lydia and Gary had been getting on so well.  

     The reason for them not getting on was David.  It always came back to him.  He was still controlling Lydia's life, as much as she had tried to distance herself from him and her life with him, it seemed he still had a hold over her.  She was upset he had come between her and Gary, she thought that the relationship she had with him, could not be infiltrated.  She was so angry that David had come between them, but she was also upset that Gary had let him.  He had let David win and that was the worst thing for Lydia.  She knew she needed to talk to him more about it, she needed him to understand why she had to do this, and she needed him to understand her thoughts.

     "Can I talk to you?"  Lydia asked Gary, as she slowly crept into his room.  She leaned her head on the door, almost looking at him sideways.  Gary sighed; he couldn't resist her face, so he nodded.  Lydia smiled slightly, as she shut the door behind herself and sat on the end of Gary's bed.  "I'm sorry that you feel the way you do Gary, but I need to do this."  Gary's head snapped round until he was practically glaring at her.  Lydia was a little taken aback at this look; he looked as if he hated her.

     "You need to do this.  Why do you need to do this?  I don't understand why you want to go and see him Lydia, why the fuck would you want to see him again?"  Lydia stared at him in disbelief, never before had Gary sworn at her and he had definitely never shouted at her before.  She knew he felt strongly when it came to her ex, but this was her life and her decision. 

     "I don't want to see him at all, but I have to.  If I want all of my memory to come back then I'll have to see him."  Gary shook his head and chuckled slightly, almost in a mocking way. 

     "You're unbelievable do you know that?  You want to go and see a man who... who used you, who didn't love you at all, who hurt you and who used you for sex.  Lydia he pretty much..." 

     "Stop!"  She knew where he was going with this; she didn't want to hear it.  She knew what David did; she didn't want Gary to say it.  He was so much better than David; she didn't want him to even have to say his name. 

"I know what he did Gary; I was there for Christ sake.  I don't need you telling me, as if you know what it was like.  I hated my life with him, and yes he did terrible things to me, but I have to see him.  I don't want to, but I need to.  I know you can't understand that, but that's not my problem."  Gary bit his tongue, he wanted to say so much, but at the same time didn't want to offend her.  Lydia meant so much to him, he desperately didn't want her to go visit David, and if he was honest he was scared.