208: You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol, you treat inside wounds with drinking alcohol. It's science
682: EVERY SECOND YOU ARE NOT RUNNING, I AM ONLY GETTING CLOSER-
049: What time is it?
999: It's muffin time!
8575: Uh, actually it's 12:30...
999: ...SOMEBODY KILL ME-
208: There's no such thing as ghosts!
Steve: *hovering in front of them*
208: Okay that's a ghost...
Cain: AAAAHHH-
682: What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm fucking pissed.
682, walking into their cell: Hello, people who do not live here.
208: Hey.
Cain: Hi.
Able: Hello.
8575: Hey!
682: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!
049: We were out of Doritos.
682: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous.
208: What if it bites me and it dies!?
Cain: Then you're poisonous. Jesus Christ, 208, learn to listen.
Able: What if it bites itself and I die?
8575: That's voodoo.
049: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
208: That's correlation, not causation.
Able: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?
8575: That's kinky.
682: Oh my God.
*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
682: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
208: ...I did. I broke it.
682: No. No you didn't. Cain?
Cain: Don't look at me. Look at Able.
Able: What?! I didn't break it.
Cain: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Able: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Cain: Suspicious.
Able: No, it's not!
8575: If it matters, probably not, but 049 was the last one to use it.
049: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
8575: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
049: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, 8575!
208: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, 682.
682: No! Who broke it!?
Everyone:
8575: 682... Cain's been awfully quiet.
Cain: rEALLY?!
*Everyone starts arguing*
682, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
682: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
682:
682: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
682: 208... How do I begin to explain 208?
Cain: 208 is flawless.
Scarlet King: I hear his hair's insured for $10,000.
8575: I hear he does car commercials... in Japan. On bridges, of course-
Able: One time they punched me in the face... it was awesome.
682: I CAN'T DO IT!
208, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!
682: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE
Cain: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.
682:
682: I appreciate it,
682: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-
Able: 682-
682: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!
8575: 682 we gotta-
682: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.
682: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'
682, motioning to 049: NOT FUCKING THIS
YOU ARE READING
Scp x Scp!Oc's
FanfictionThis book contains S.C.P. files that can only be accessed by the higher ups, so please don't tell anyone about this. There will also be some written experiments between other Scp. Based on the stuff I have written down in a book which is why this wi...
