Terrible Disaster (Ash Costello/Chris Motionless)

Chapter 2.

Ash POV.

Once I said it I couldn't help, but go to the other side of the couch, and hide my face on the arm rest.

"Oh Ash!" Chris said, and grabbed me by my waist, and pulled me into his chest. I couldn't help, but let the tears fall freely. Soaking his shirt.

"I thought I had it under control, and was done with that part of my life." I sobbed.

"Where?" He asked. I sniffled afraid for him to find out. He pulled my chin up, so that I was looking at him. "Where?" He asked again. Instead of telling him I pulled my sleeves up. He looked at them, and disappointment was instantly on his face. "These look fresh." He examined. I nodded. "Is that what you were doing today, when you left rehearsals?" He asked. I nodded again. He sighed. "Why didn't you tell me?" He asked.

"I didn't know how, and I was embarrassed." I confessed.

"Why were you embarrassed?" He questioned.

"Because." I said, but stopped. How do I explain this to him?

"Because why Ashley?" He said.

"Because, I was afraid that if you found out, then.." I stopped, and hid my face in his chest again.

"You were afraid that you would lose me weren't you?" He asked.

"Yes." I whispered.

"Honey you can't get rid of me that easily, and besides I went through that period in my life too." He replied.

"I know, but Chris it's really bad this time. Instead of just cutting. There's voices in my head." I said. Chris looked at me.

"What do you mean voices?" He asked.

"I mean voices, as in telling me to do stuff, or just trying to make me feel worse, so I will want to cut, or worse." I explained.

"You're just doing it on your arms right?" He asked. I looked away again. Shit! I knew he'd ask this. He examined me. I knew he knew, because his hands reached towards the bottom of my shirt.

"No Chris please don't." I begged trying to keep him from pulling my shirt up, but of course he was stronger than me, and he doesn't listen.

"Oh my fucking God Ashley." He yelled examining my stomach, and all the scars that were there. I got free from his grasp, and ran towards the bathroom. "Ashley!" Chris yelled. I wasn't listening to him. There were other voices yelling at me, and they had more control. You know what to do! You're already in here, and you know the blade is in that cabinet, along with a bunch of pills. Take your pick. The voices said. Tears were streaming down my face. I heard Chris pounding on the door yelling things at me, but I had other people yelling at me too, but louder, because they were in my head. Blade or pills Ashley. Which one do you want? I grabbed the blade, and a bottle of pills for after. Oh you're gonna do both. Good choice. The voices were saying. I took my shirt off, because it was just easier doing it this way. I started on my stomach, then went for my wrists. Chris was still pounding on the door, but he was slowly fading from me. I couldn't tell if he was giving up or if I was the one who was giving up. Take the pills now Ashley, and all this will soon be over with. I reached out with shaking hands towards the pill bottle. Good. I got it in my grasp, and looked at it for a minute. Do it Ashley. The voices kept saying over and over again. I tried to open the bottle, but I was fading fast, and my whole body was shaking. Do it Ashley. The voices kept saying. Chris burst through the door. The exact same tim I got the cap to come off the top of the bottle, causing all of the pills to spill all over the floor. I tried to grab some, but Chris got to me first.

"No let me go!" I yelled. I was defiantly fading, and Chris knew it.

"Ashley baby stay with me." He said rocking me on the floor in his lap.