The Lorem Milites

03

Over the next few weeks, Logan makes me work every single day. It's mainly conditioning - hauling feed for Trax, chopping wood, running laps. It's hard work and he doesn't give me any breaks, but I don't back down. Despite how tired I am, I feel healthier, stronger and more capable. Who knew exercise could make you feel so much better? 

After another long day, I'm brushing Trax in the fading daylight.  The soft whinny she gives when I run the brush over her back relaxes me. Trax has become an important part of my daily routine, she makes me feel as though everything will be all right. I close my eyes, enjoying the rhythm of the brushing, when Logan's voice cuts through the silence.

"Why do you want to join the LM so badly, Juno?" His question catches me off guard, and I turn around. I pause a moment before answering. He actually seems genuinely curious, his eyes twinkle in the stable light. "Well.." I sigh, "I guess I just believe that we deserve so much more than this. And the LM, they have resources, power.. Perhaps, when I become one of them, I could use that to actually make a difference, you know? For people like my mom, Finn, for everyone.." His eyes darken, and the glimmer of curiosity in his eyes is nowhere to be found anymore. Instead, he looks.. angry. As if he doesn't like my answer. "You are naive to believe that one person can make such a big difference, and even more naive to believe the LM is all the good you make them out to be. They are ruthless and follow orders, no matter what."

"Maybe," I clench my jaw, "but I can't sit here and do nothing. If you don't believe in this, why did you even agree to help me?" He averts his gaze, his eyes glazing over, as if he is lost in deep thoughts. "Don't lose yourself in the violence, Juno. You can't come back from that. Let that be lesson one." He doesn't seem to be particularly fond of the LM, yet still offers to help me. It's confusing, to say the least. Frowning, I ask; "Lesson one of what?"

It seems as though my voice brings him back to reality, and the regular stern look returns on his face. "Combat." My heart skips a little. "Come here." Standing in front of him, always makes me realize how tall he actually is. "You're small and have no muscles. Many, if not most, of your opponents will be stronger than you. So you will have to be faster, smarter. That's your only chance. I want to start with some basic hand to hand combat." 

He did it, he actually made up his mind. I don't know what did it for him, but I couldn't be happier. A grin appears on my face. "I will teach you the basics of defense - offense first. You are right handed, yes?" I nod, anticipation building in my body. "Put your left leg in front, widen your stance, turn your hips. Put your fists in front of your face, the right one closer. Close your elbows. This stance is important, it will allow you to act more smoothly." He pokes my ribs, and taps my nose. "You're too open." I giggle a little, to his annoyance. "This isn't a game." He shows me how to punch and dodge, and then lets me try. I inhale sharply and hit his hand with my fist. "You punch like a girl and are slower than my grandma." I can feel the blood rushing to my face, both out of anger and embarrassment. I blow my hair out of my face and sarcastically reply. "Gosh, thank you." 

We spend the rest of the evening practicing simple drills, which is mainly him kicking my ass and me gasping for air like a fish on land. All of the confidence I had in my fitness level disappeared like snow before the sun.

-

Days turn into weeks, and my combat training becomes a part of my daily routine. One afternoon as the first snowflakes drift down over the village, I'm making my way through the village, lowering my head and pulling my hood up, when I bump into someone. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there." The person turns around, and I recognize him as Conan. 

"Conan! Where have you been? Everyone has been looking for you!" I put down my hood. The old man grunts, and looks at me with a displeased look on his face. "Oh, dear Juno. It doesn't matter where I've been. What matters is that you're meddling in business you shouldn't be." His pale blue eyes pierce my soul, his hands slightly trembling. "I- I'm sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about.." An uneasy feeling embraces me, sending shivers down my spine. He grabs my coat, his voice urgent, yet quiet. "Logan." My throat closes up from anxiety. How did he know about me and Logan? "He is not the man you think he is. If you know what's good for you and this village, you stay away from him." He starts coughing and spits out some phlegm, before slowly walking away, not even giving me the chance to reply. "Wait! Conan, I-".. A pair of hands wrap around my middle and I scream, instinctively elbowing the person behind me. He grunts in pain and immediately lets go, as I spin around.

"Juno.. what the hell?" Finn is standing in front of me, bent over with a hand on his stomach. While catching his breath, he straightens his posture and scans me with his eyes. The look on his face quickly goes from shocked to concerned. "Are you okay? I didn't scare you that much, did I?" I shake my head and force a smile after glancing over my shoulder. It's like Conan was never here. "Mean elbow, by the way." He laughs and playfully slaps me on the arm, his hand lingering a little longer than it has to, his tone softening. A tingling feeling spreads throughout my body, and I awkwardly step aside. His demeanor changes, as he scrapes his throat and puts his hands in his pockets. "So.. I never see you anymore," he laughs awkwardly, "what have you been up to?" 

"Oh, you know, just.. working." His eyes widen. I think it's disbelief. "You mean, for that guy you mentioned?" I quietly nod. "Is he treating you okay? Promise me that if anything happens, if he ever lays a finger on you, you'll come to me." He grabs my hand and looks me in the eyes, his pale skin and dark hair in perfect harmony with the winter scene. I smile softly. "I will. I promise. He's not a bad guy, he's helping me." That last sentence feels forced, like it doesn't want to leave my mouth. What if he isn't? What if Conan is right and I'm making a mistake? He did kill a guy. I need to know. "I'm sorry Finn, I have to go." After gently pulling away my hand, I hurry over to Logan's. Knowing him, he will be working in the barn right now.

Upon my arrival I see that Logan is indeed not in his cabin. After scanning the environment, I quietly sneak towards the cabin, and enter it through the back door. Logan is a simple man when it comes to interior, the cabin only contains the absolute necessities. If I didn't know any better, I would think that no one was actually living here as of right now. My eyes adjust to the darkness, and at first glance, there is nothing remarkable to be seen, even after snooping through his drawers. But then, something catches my eye. It's the hooded cloak the man Logan killed was wearing that night. I recognize it because of the symbol. My heart starts beating a little faster, and with every creak of the floorboards I'm scared he might walk in and catch me red handed. I approach the cloak, and further inspect the symbol. It's a phoenix. I take a few deep breaths to calm my nerves before searching the pockets. There's something in them. Full of anticipation, I take it out: it's a note. Upon opening it, I see that it is addressed to Logan.

"Logan,

If this finds you, I fear our suspicions were right. 

He will fall, it is only a matter of time. Stick to the plan.

Remember: from destruction comes strength."

It feels wrong to read. Who will fall? The King? And what plan? A million thoughts ruminate through my mind, and I can't seem to quiet them. I know that only Logan knows the answers to them, but at this point I'm not fully convinced I can trust him. I quickly fold the note and put it back in the coat, before hurrying out of the cabin. Whether I trust Logan or not, he is the only one capable of helping me. I can't let this get in the way of my goal, can I?