Mon Amour | 𝑪.𝑳

Part 50

TW: mentions of suicide, death, addiction, alcohol abuse and homophobia

People liked to think that Lyla had an easy life.

But Lyla Andre-Accardi was far from perfect.

She was an ex-drug addict and near alcoholic who had one to many attempts plastered onto her name.

She'd spent her teenage years drinking her life away, being threatened with permanent liver damage, subjected to blatant homophobia and brainwashing. Lyla could barely remember her 13th, 14th and 15th birthday and the majority of the early 2010's were just blank spaces in her memories.

Hospital trips were second nature to her and any surrounding relatives and friends. She was under constant watch all day every day for years on end. Disappearing was the only thing she knew how to do and going off the radar was her favourite thing.

"It's just a phase Lyla darling."

"Oh my sweet angel, only god can save you now."

"Your going straight to hell along with your mother."

"Liking girls is unacceptable."

"Trying to kill yourself is against the wishes of god."

Her grandparents favoured the same sentences every time they saw her, unaware of the impact it had.

Arden Accardi had lost count of the amount of times he had broken the bathroom door from its hinges and dragged his younger sisters lifeless body from the tiled floor. Although, it wasn't just Arden who would discover Lyla after an attempt. Antonio had a few times, Jules was up in the top ranks of people who found her, Pierre and Charles had both had her fair share of discoveries.

Lyla's mind had blocked out the majority of her memories from these years of trouble. It meant she didn't remember saying goodbye to her dad or her last conversation with Michael, she didn't remember being told of Michael's accident or the funeral for Antonio. Whilst she had been present in those moments physically, she hadn't been there mentally.

It was still something people were discovering to this day.

For example, Lewis mentioning an old memory and Lyla having no idea what he was on about despite the fact she was there and one of the key people involved. He realised that whilst her body had been there, her mind had been nowhere near.

It made everyone realise that despite her happy-go-lucky exterior and infamous smile, she was still struggling behind the mask she put up.

Now they were just waiting for that eventful day where it would all come crashing down.

It was inevitable...

And when Lyla crashed. She crashed hard.

Lyla survived the Saturday down at the paddock. She spent free practice with McLaren as she'd done the day before then rocked around with different drivers before heading to Alpha Tauri for Qualifying.

Each team to their own had issues - Nicolas Latifi spun into the wall, Haas has their usual multitude of problems...

And getting back to the hotel for Lyla wasn't great.

She could feel herself come crashing down all of a sudden. Her eyes kept watering, hands started to shake, she was scratching at the skin on her arm and fighting the urge of zone out and slip into a world that she didn't like being in. Despite this, she kept a smile on her face and played into the constant mask she had on right up until she was behind the safety of her hotel room door.

She fell against the door the minute it shut, hand covering her mouth as she let out a sob and slid down to the floor.

She couldn't breathe.