Lucy's Little Secret || Chenford / The Rookie

Part 1: Tim

It happens during an after-shift workout. Tim is lifting weights while Jackson spots him and details some sort of argument he and Lucy had the evening before about his latest conquest, who also happens to work in the same SWAT unit.

Tim is only half tuned in as the exertion of his final set limits his capacity to follow the very detailed rundown Jackson is providing. Beyond that, even without the distraction of a workout, Tim couldn't keep track of Jackson's love life if he tried. The guy has had more relationships in the three and a half years Tim has known him than Tim has had in his entire life.

"So I tell her that I think I'm just going to go for it and ask him for a drink. What's the worst that can happen? And she's getting all worked up and going on about how it's a terrible idea because he's technically senior to me, and it'll be awkward to get involved with someone I have to work with every day, and I'm like, 'Listen, I know you still feel awkward about those hot TO fantasies from when you were a rookie, but this is definitely not that, and Jason isn't tech—'"

Tim lets the bar drop with a loud clang that jars Jackson from his rambling and reaches for a towel to wipe the sweat from his face as he sits up to stare at the other man.

"Her what now?" He's not entirely sure what he just heard Jackson say.

Jackson freezes as he mentally backtracks over his words, gulping as he discovers his fatal error. The look on his face is confirmation enough for Tim.

"Huh? Who's what?" The younger officer attempts to play dumb.

Tim continues to stare at him. "You said something about 'hot TO fantasies'?'"

"Uhhhh, y-yeah, totally. I meant mine... about... Lopez. Suuuuper awkward."

Tim rolls his eyes at the terrible attempt to deflect yet again. "Jackson..." he warns, his stare unrelenting.

"Yup, yup — soooo awkward...." Seeming to realize he's fighting a losing battle, Jackson gives up with a sigh. "You can't say anything, Tim. She'll literally murder me. Please," he begs.

But by then, Tim is lost in his own head about this sudden revelation. Sweet little Lucy having fantasies about her hot TO, hmmm.

He turns it over and over in his mind... in some ways, it makes complete sense — her nervousness around him at the beginning (although he has yet to meet a boot he doesn't make nervous), the playful teasing and pranks, the awkward phone calls to no one as an excuse to talk to him about whatever was currently on her mind, the adorable looks from her in the shop she thought he never noticed.

On the other hand, she had really done a pretty good job of throwing him off the scent and just playing those things off as part of her bubbly Lucy aura. Heck, she had even set him up with Rachel, and god knows how many hours of his life he had lost to her rambling about some hunky firefighter, or EMT, or there was also that one park ranger... The girl clearly had a thing for civil servants.

It's been over 2 years since Jackson, Lucy, and [eventually] Nolan graduated.

Jackson joined SWAT, and — a surprise to them both — the bond he formed with Tim over his training period has lived on. Whether it was helping him overcome his aversion to flying bullets, having his back through the situation with Stanton, or even just their shared love of working out when everyone else was more interested in taco trucks and happy hour, they've built a trust and friendship that has persisted over the years — primarily in the form of being regular gym buddies.

Jackson is also how Tim keeps up to date on what's going on with his former boot. He sees less of Lucy than he'd like now that she's in an undercover unit — in and out of missions, working long and unpredictable hours.

To say it was hard for him to accept her choice was an understatement, but a swift kick in the ass from Nyla after Lucy's UC drug bust as a rookie had set him straight. She'd rightfully called him out for standing in the way of Lucy's chosen career path and projecting his own issues with UC work onto his boot. But Nyla really struck a chord when she shared how disappointed Lucy had been to not have his support — it was a major career milestone to be called up for a mission like that as a rookie.

Granted, he'd been pissed and stone-cold with Nyla for at least a week after she had provided her unsolicited opinions, but, as per his usual way, he'd eventually come around to realize her points were valid, once his initial defensiveness and anger subsided.

That didn't mean he didn't still worry about Lucy. It wasn't something he liked to dwell on, but he knew that his level of concern for her was out of bounds of what would be considered normal for a TO to feel toward a former rookie. But, in actuality, he's well aware of the fact that she's more than just his former rookie — everything they went through together her rookie year has connected them in a way that has endured in the years since they spent every waking hour together riding in their shop.

He's continued to be her first call on anything work related — from venting about the slug of a partner she got assigned as a P2 to sobbing uncontrollably after her cover was nearly blown on an early UC mission, unsure if she was actually cut out for UC work (which, of course she was, and, of course he begrudgingly soothed and reassured her of that, even if it did feel like it cost him a piece of his soul).

And she had somehow squirreled her way into being the one person he was actually [somewhat] willing to discuss his personal life with, from gift ideas (let's face it, Lucy could not be beat on that front) to the women he had attempted to date after his break up with Rachel to Kojo's emergency trip to the vet that had rattled him more than he would ever admit. She was the only person he found himself actually wanting to talk to about things that were not work or sports related.

While Tim is generally pretty good at ignoring his feelings, he isn't completely oblivious to the fact that his fondness of Lucy has only continued to grow the longer she's been in his life. But he's also aware that that's also just who she is. She's sunshine and joy and laughter personified, and anyone who tries to resist her charms is in for a losing battle.

So, though, in his own way, he's come to love his sweet little Lucy, he's also pretty sure that's just par for the course for anyone that Lucy decides to welcome into her bubble of warmth.

He's wondered at times if there couldn't be something more between them —something really good. But it's been a fleeting idea at most, his mind easily calculating and weighing all the reasons why they shouldn't go there against the idea that maybe, just maybe, they should.

It definitely was not something he seriously entertained while he was her TO, or while he was still technically her superior as a Patrol Sergeant. But since she's moved into UC, the fleeting idea has become a little less... fleeting.

At the same time, he knows he won't be able to pull the trigger as long as there is even a sliver of doubt in his mind about whether Lucy also sees the potential for more than friendship between them, the doubt only magnified by the complexity of their former professional relationship.

And then, there's also just the fact that he is unwilling to risk ruining a part of his life that is just so perfectly good as it is, without the certainty that he will be trading it for something that could be incredible.

And so now, with this new revelation, his head is swimming as he recalculates and reevaluates everything under this new lens — the idea that Lucy may see him in some light other than TO, boss, mentor, friend, or [god forbid] older brother.

Jackson is staring at him, wringing his hands, trying to guess what's running through Tim's head, "There's no way I'm not dead, is there?"

Tim ignores his question, "So about these fantasies... are we talking only past tense or..."

Jackson stares at Tim, eyebrows shooting up. "Are you — are you asking what I think you're asking?"

Tim shrugs noncommittally but isn't able to suppress a small smile as he marvels over the idea that Lucy might still have a little crush on him. The grin that explodes on Jackson's face is all the confirmation Tim needs.

As he leaves the gym later that evening, he's still shaking his head over Lucy's little secret, but he also feels a whole lot lighter now that he is finally completely confident about his next move. He shoots Lucy a text, "I need to see you tonight."