Lucy's Little Secret || Chenford / The Rookie

Part 3: Lucy

Lucy raises her eyes to meet his, "T-Tim, were you talking about...? If not Nolan, then, you were talking about... Oh my god, I'm such an idiot."

"Apparently, I'm the idiot," he says, voice dull and lacking any of the teasing humor from just moments before.

"NO! YES! I mean yes, you. Definitely you, not Nolan. Definitely NOT Nolan. Oh my God." Lucy buries her face in her hands, her words not making sense even to her as she tries to reassure him that he's not an idiot, and that she is not fantasizing about Nolan, and that she is definitely fantasizing about him, and why does it feel like the world is about to end?

Lucy feels utterly overwhelmed as she simultaneously tries to process her euphoria at the idea that Tim might actually finally have been trying to open a door for them to be something more than friends and her mortification that she has somehow made this about her years-old relationship with Nolan. She wonders if she's going to start hyperventilating.

The pizza and beers have been forgotten as Tim pushes himself to his feet. Lucy lifts her head as she feels the loss of his warmth next to her and attempts to grab hold of his hand, but he's pulling away from her.

He slowly shakes his head, "Look, Chen. You were right — it's late. Maybe we should just call it a night. We can talk about this later."

Lucy can feel the despair and panic commingling in her stomach as she watches him shut down and pull away from her.

How is it possible that we could get so close to figuring this out only to have it go so, so wrong?

She shakes her head in disbelief, unwilling to let it go. "No. Tim. You don't understand. I was confused. That was forever ago, Tim. It's over. It's been over. I just — it was a secret. I thought that's where you were going with the work romance thing. I thought you had somehow figured it out..." she trails off helplessly, unsure if she's making the situation better or worse.

He folds his arms across his chest, looking briefly pained before shaking his head at her. "It's none of my business. Look, it's nothing. Let's just forget it. It's late," he repeats.

Tears spring to Lucy's eyes as she finds her way to her feet, crossing the living room toward him, "No. It's not nothing. I don't want to forget about it. I want to talk about this. I want to talk about..."

She almost says it, the word sitting on the tip of her tongue, I want to talk about... us.

But she's scared and confused and heartbroken over the idea that this idiotic miscommunication may have ruined any chance of knowing how incredibly good the two of them could be as an us.

Tim sighs, eyes looking briefly up to the ceiling for a reprieve from Lucy's pleading, sad gaze. "It's dumb. It's really nothing. Jackson said something at the gym today. Clearly, I misunderstood. Let's just drop it."

And so, they stand there, stuck in limbo, neither quite willing to be the one to show any further vulnerability.

Lucy sighs, knowing that she needs to be the one to fix this. He had gone out on a limb, asking her over, opening a door [albeit indirectly] for them to finally talk about what might be between them, and he had stepped on a landmine he didn't even know existed while she unwittingly slammed the door in his face.

She steels herself, gathering her courage before speaking. "Look, I don't know what Jackson said to you at the gym. But I was so happy to hear from you tonight, and so excited to see you, and, honestly, I'm still not even totally sure I understand what's going on, but I'm not walking out of here like this."

She places a hand on his folded arms, gently pressing down until he lets them drop to his sides. She takes a deep breath and steps into him, wrapping her arms around him in a hug, and burying her face in his chest.

He's tense at first, not immediately returning the hug. But as Lucy continues to hang on, his resolve is no match for hers. He slowly wraps his arms around her, unable to resist her as she burrows into him.

Somehow Lucy finds a little more bravery, wrapped up in his warmth instead of having to look directly into his beautiful — but also occasionally terrifyingly icy — blue eyes. "I'm so sorry — can we please just start this conversation over?"

He laughs dryly as he gently pulls back enough to see her face, hands coming up to her arms. "This is definitely not how I imagined this going, Lucy."

She looks up at him, sad, but hopeful, before venturing carefully forward. "Earlier, when you were asking me about a fantasy and romantic inclinations towards someone at work, you were talking about... you and me... us ?" The word feels so strange and also so completely right as it passes through her lips.

He sighs, "I thought — I guess I could have — should have — been a little more direct."

She tilts her head back and smiles sweetly at him, "So, let me make sure I've got this right, Jackson (who apparently has some MAJOR explaining to do), says something to you at the gym about..."

The playful, devilish tinge is back in Tim's expression. "A hot TO fantasy," he fills in.

Lucy has no doubt her cheeks are absolutely flaming as she continues, "A hot...erm... TO fantasy, and then your immediate reaction is to invite me over so you can...?"

"Embarrass the hell out of you... and eventually... reenact the hot TO fantasy..." he deadpans. "But instead, now I'm just picturing you and... Nolan..." he shudders.

Lucy laughs, briefly returning her head to his chest in embarrassment, before leaning back to look at him again, "That was a literal lifetime ago. It was before I even really knew you, before..." she trails off, not yet willing to voice what her mind is filling in, I fell in love with you.

She takes a deep breath before continuing, "So... if you really want to know who had and still has a lead role in my fantasies, it's you. It's been you. It's been you since there's been a you in my life."

Tim smiles down at her as she looks up at him with those sweet, hopeful eyes. His hand finds her face as he leans down to gently meet her lips.

Her heart feels like it's overflowing with warmth as he kisses her. The moments that led them to this may have been a complete and total disaster, but this moment could not be more perfect. Even in her fantasies, she could not have imagined just how complete, happy, and safe kissing Tim Bradford would make her feel.

The sweet newness of the sensation of them exploring each other in this way gradually gives way to the intense physical attraction that's been building between them for years, finally tempted with the possibility of release. He's pulling her impossibly closer to him, and, in this moment, he is the only thing in her entire world.

The momentum of their now heated makeout sees them gravitating back toward the couch. Tim easily scoops her up, her legs wrapping around him as he maneuvers them both down onto the couch. His hands begin to explore the exposed skin under her jacket as he continues to hungrily kiss her. Her own hands tug greedily at the hem of his T-shirt, which he only momentarily pauses to yank over his head before continuing his exploration, moving from her mouth to her neck as his hands begin to work the fabric of her denim jacket off her shoulder.

Lucy gently pushes him back with a hand on his chest and sits up so she can slide the jacket off before tossing it on the floor — each taking advantage of the moment to catch their breath — before she slides her hand up over his arm and around his neck to pull him back onto her. Tim hesitates, using his arm to keep himself balanced against her downward pull.

He tips forward so their foreheads touch before softly asking, "Are you sure, Lucy? We don't have to rush."

Lucy smiles against his mouth as she kisses him again before responding, "I think we've waited long enough, don't you?"