AUGUST | NH |

SEVEN

Niall

"What the hell is wrong with me?"

I repeat the question for what feels like the millionth time as I lay there, staring at the damn ceiling, waiting for my bed to swallow me whole.

I'd been an asshole to Archer for no reason.

She was there in front of me looking like a dream bathed in the moonlight. God. All I had to do was lean forward three fucking inches and I would have been able to taste what I really wanted.

There was something about being around her that made me feel like nothing mattered.

Which is crazy because I barely even know her.

The facts that I know about her are few and far between, but I'll be damned if that stopped me from being so attracted to her that she clouded my thoughts even when I didn't want her to.

Flexing my hands into fists, I think about how badly I wanted to wrap my arm around her waist and pull her body into mine. To feel her skin on my skin.

Her lips on my lips.

Honestly, hearing that ice cream hit the concrete between our feet was like a cold shower over my body, snapping me back to reality. A reality that painted her as my best friend's little sister and someone who was eight years younger than me. Which meant that was a road that I didn't need to go down.

Talking with her was just easy for me.

I find myself sticking with the same group of friends and being around the same people. Technically I think that would make me a creature of habit. Most of the women I had been with just ultimately wanted more. I always did my best to give them what they wanted.

Going out more, inviting more people into my life.

In the end though — it wasn't enough.

Just thinking about it made me think about my last serious relationship that lasted longer than a few hookups.

We were together for a couple of years and when she started to hint about wanting to get married, I sat down with her and told her that marriage was something I wanted. It was something I wanted with her.

Hell, I even went out and bought a ring.

I just happened to buy a ring the same day that she decided that she wanted to leave. 

She said that Cape Charlotte wasn't enough for her anymore — that I wasn't enough for her anymore.

That shit wrecked me.

I couldn't figure out what I had done that wasn't good enough for her, and I couldn't figure out why she didn't want to spend her life with me.

Shaking my head, I refreshed the memories of the blonde woman that I had thought was forever.

Instead, I think about the powerhouse of a woman who is in a house across town because I left her there because I was too afraid to kiss her like a fucking idiot.

That's all I wanted to do.

Now here I am, laying in the dark and wondering what would have happened if I had just done it.

Would it really be the end of the world?

Would Archer press her body into mine?

Would I be able to slide my hands just under the shirt on her body to feel the warmth of her skin?

Would she run her fingers through my hair?

There were so many questions running through my mind and I hated that I didn't have an answer to a single one of them.