After New York

Chapter 9: Take this Longing

Warning: this chapter contains mature content 

Tessa

I watch in silence as his chest rises and falls in a slow, steady rhythm. His long, dark lashes lay flush against his cheekbones. His full lips slightly parted in sleep. I take the opportunity to study his features. To take in each slope and curve, each familiar line and freckle that I had missed so dearly over the last year.

I glance towards the mess we've left in our wake. Our clothing lay scattered across the floor. The hotel curtains haphazardly drawn, the last rays of the day's light still poking through.

I'm not sure what I thought would happen when I agreed to walk Hardin up to his Hotel room tonight. I think I knew. But I didn't allow myself to admit it.

After our encounter on Landon's balcony I knew that we had so much more to talk about. That we needed privacy. So we had ended up walking around together aimlessly for hours, doing just that. Talking. About anything and everything. Finally allowing eachother to glimps into the worlds we had been exiled from for so long. 

And there was peace in the air around us. A peace I was quickly reminded can only come from his presence.

****

"I can't go without this, Tess." He says suddenly. Breaking  the comfortable silence that had found us when we entered the park. His feet still, stopping his movement, and he turns to face me. His tired eyes holding on to so much unexpressed emotion.

I watch as the crowd of people on the path continue about their day. Moving around us without a second thought. Completely unaware of the battle taking place within me. The countless hours of longing that I have lived and died since we last saw each other.

He's searching my face for a response and I can feel it. His mossy green eyes sparking in the light. "I'll do whatever it takes. I don't expect anything from you. I just-" he runs his hand through his long locks. The summer highlights of amber and gold catching the light. "I just want to be able to talk to you. To know how you are. To know you. " His brow furrows with his confession, and I want to reach out. To sooth the deep ridges with my fingers. But instead I can only nod. Offering him a small understanding smile. And in response his face relaxes. Relief washing over his features.

****
When I walked him to his hotel later on his hand grasped mine softly, and I let him. The comfort of his touch was too much to refuse. And outside the door to the building, I hugged him goodbye. Knowingly lingering in his embrace for longer than I should have. Feeling his lips that hovered dangerously close to the skin of my neck as he held me. Lighting tiny fires in me with every breath.

In a soft whisper he had invited me up for coffee. And I followed him inside without a word, despite every cell in my body calling out for caution.

The ride up to the penthouse was silent, and the air between us was thick with tension. And no sooner than his key card had triggered the green light at the entrance to his room were our lips on eachother. Frenzied and without restraint. A thousand minutes of need and want released in a single instant.

I find my hand tracing my lips at the memory. Feeling them still swollen from their recent assault.

I can feel sleep calling to me, but I'm too afraid to close my eyes. Afraid to miss a moment of his presence after so much time spent in its absence.