Theatre Kids

Theatre Kids School Club

I know I'm a monster, all of us are, creatures of the night, we hide and hope to stay alive even when we're right about to die.
My name is Soter, and I'm a theatre kid, I'm the only theatre kid left in the club.
When I was sixteen I chose  that club  in my school, it was 1986 and the world was changing I remember what the teacher said «If you don't participate to any afternoon school club you won't be able to pass this year.» and so I decided to be part of the “Theatre Kids School Club” many reasons, first there weren't many of my classmates who I deeply hated, second there was going to be Layla and she was smart, and loved poetry and cinema and I was sure that she was going to make us all shine with her own presence on the stage, that were my reasons for choosing that club, I didn't know what would have happened.
The club activities started after a week, I got ready and got out, I walked through the streets with my headphones, a walkman in my back pocket and the smiths singing me to sleep.
I never knew how to make friends, I always waited for someone to reach out first, during primary school I had three friends, I can't recall their names, I can't recall their faces, I remember details about them and how they liked to spend recess, crooked teeth liked to eat and laugh and was the leader, lazy eye was shy and empathetic he liked to follow the ants through the playground and then there was scar a little silent kid who liked to pick fights and bully lazy eye, and I was there, following them around, it was slightly different in middle school, different people same hierarchy, but I still didn't know where to put myself in that hierarchy, I wasn't cool, but I hung out with the cool kids, and I wasn't a nerd but I was the best in every subject, and I wasn't a prick but I always ended up in some kind of fight or gossip, and I didn't like girls but I always had a girlfriend.
Then it all changed, when I got to high school, things got different, I knew nobody and I didn't hold the same power I held back then, nobody knew me and nobody cared enough to come closer, so I was left alone, and weirdly I felt like that afternoon club would have been my new group of friends.
I got to school after thirty minutes and entered the little theatre that there was next to the gym, I looked around and saw nobody and felt my heart drop while the smiths sang about going back to an old house «Is anyone here?» I asked looking at the stage, the sun was making its way through the windows, it was gently lying all around, the benches casting long shadows on the floor, the air felt dusty and warm, it was a September afternoon, the Summer was dying and at the moment I felt like I was going to die as well, but then someone replied «Yeah, I was taking a nap.» a boy sat up from one of the benches in front of me while I took off my headphones «Sorry.» I said embarrassed «Edgar.» the boy held his hand out for me to shake it « Soter.» I replied shaking his hand «Is there anyone else?» I asked again «They're about to get here.» he said standing up and stretching his back, I didn't talk anymore, it would have looked like I cared, and I had to show I didn't “why?” you'd ask me and well, “I don't know.“ would be the answer, I kept listening to my music while Edgar toyed around the room, then the rest of the group came through the door «Hi.» they greeted smiling politely.
When they all had put down their things Layla guided us all on stage and told us to sit down in a circle, she was beautiful, with a blonde bob cut and pastel blue eyes, she was short and thin and wore a white button down shirt with a pink long skirt  «So introduce yourselves.» she said, nobody said anything «Ok then I'll start and you'll go after me.» she said pointing towards the girl next to her «Good Afternoon everyone, my name is Layla Chester and I'll guide you through this year of theatre club, I am seventeen and this is my last year in this school, so I want you all to help me leave a sign.» she excitedly smiled «Your turn.» she then announced to the girl next to her, a tall short haired girl, with an alternative style, the girl had a scary look, so I thought and when she spoke her voice was nice and clear, sharp I'd say «My name is Michelle, I'm seventeen, last year I was in the philosophy club which was a total bore, so I'm here to learn something that could actually mean something in my life .» she said and I felt like whatever I would have said wouldn't actually have any meaning for them, I couldn't find good words to explain deep feelings or the reason why I didn't have friends or anything of what I wanted to spit out so when my turn came «My name is Soter, I'm sixteen and I want to learn something new.» I said, which was true, but it was not what I wanted to say.
They talked a lot, I stared in silence, they loved all kinds of movies and plays and I did too, listening to them was amazing, and the thought of doing it everyday didn't bother me in the slightest «Soter, what kind of music do you listen to?» a girl asked pointing towards my headphones, she was chubby and gorgeous, a loud and enthusiastic person, dark colored skin and curly brown hair, Olivia «Oh pop, rock.» I replied looking down at the floor «It won't hurt your eyes to look at her, actually to look at anyone in this room.» Michelle said with her sharp voice cutting right through the atmosphere and dropping a bomb on my back ”Oh.“ I thought ”She knows I'm weird.“ I looked up at all of them, I studied their faces like they were crooked teeth, lazy eye and scar like they were friends and they all looked right back at me «I'm sorry it's just that you're all so beautiful and I'm just horrible to look at.» I said, I don't know what made me do that, but I was honest «Who told you that?» a girl asked, an albino as I could easily notice, with colourless eyes and white long hair, Lacrima was her name and although I thought it was kind of a weird name mine was weird as well so I couldn't really point it out «I did.» I said «Silly.» Layla commented, beautiful girl, she was saying that maybe I wasn't to throw away «You look like Brian Johnson from the breakfast club.» Rosemary said playing with her hair «Oh you and that movie.» Olivia rolled her eyes smiling «What movie is that?» I asked and I felt like I was part of a group, they had aknowledged my presence and that was all I needed to feel comfortable enough to be there again, the day after and the one after that too.
After two hours spent together Layla announced the end of the first meeting «Where do you live?» Edgar asked me while I put on my headphones «Chester street.» I said shyly while he put his things in his backpack «Cool.» he replied, and when I got out he followed me and he walked me back home,he was curious about what I was listening to and I made him listen as well «This is kinda depressing.» he said handing me back my headphones «Well it's poetic.» I replied looking straight ahead «Poetic....do you write lot of  poetry?» he asked pointing at my backpack «Ye..yes. How'd you know?» I felt the world sinking to my feet, nobody knew, or so I thought «Well you do only write at recess.» he observed, and I turned around to look at him, I was invisible, I was see through, how could he have noticed such a boring person «Yeah but.» I was about to say something I don't know what but I needed to let him know I was confused «All the girls drool over you.» he said  « Oh my god, he is so mysterious and cool, I want him to be my boyfriend. » he said with an high pitched voice imitating the girls «That's all you hear through the hallways.» he rolled his eyes «How do you do that?» he asked then looking back at me again «Oh.» I said, that was the reason he wanted to befriend me then, he wanted to be liked by girls,but I was fine with that if it meant I could have a friend «Well it's just that I pretend not to care.» I said crossing the street «Can you teach me? From actor to actor.» he asked, his eyes brightening up «Fine.» I replied sighing, I liked to pretend it kind of was a pain, but it was amazing, someone wanted to be my friend even if for personal reasons, I was the happiest man alive «Cool then, tomorrow at recess, let's meet in the library and you'll teach me the first lesson.» Edgar said waving goodbye, he turned around and walked back towards where we came from, leaving me confused but overall happy.