Theatre Kids

Replaceable

The day after that I gladly went to school, walking with Bowie in my ears  “from actor to actor ” I thought a lot about those words, for Edgar they were just words, from my point of view they were much more.
The first hours went just fine, then there was recess and I headed towards the library, for a moment I thought that maybe he was just kidding and that when I would have gotten there he wouldn't have been there, but that was just me being paranoid, in fact when I got there he was already sitting on an armchair with a notebook and a pen «You came.» he said smiling and standing up «Yeah.» I replied sitting in the armchair in front of him «So how do I become like you?» he asked removing the cap from the pen and looking at me with a hopeful grin «First, you have to look like you don't care, and actually ACTUALLY write poetry.» I said, well the first part was real, all he actually needed to do was stay in a corner and write or pretend to if he wanted to be like me, the fact was I really wanted him to write poetry, I wanted to see what could come out of his mind, what could he produce, he looked at me with a blank stare «How do I do that?» he asked scratching his neck «Write whatever comes out of your mind.» I said, because that's what I did and I thought he could do it too «Can I read one of your poems? Just as inspiration.» he asked begging with his eyes «Fine.» I said taking out my notebook, he took it and started looking through it, he stopped and read carefully every now and then, it felt like someone was reading my darkest secrets even though every poem I wrote was so full of metaphors and analogies that none could understand « Why would I miss them, they left nothing, no trace, no scar, no pain. How could I miss them if I could just call them again. » he read aloud from my notebook with a furrowed brow «What does that mean?» he then asked «Well, that was quite easy to get.» I said, it was the simplest poem I had ever written, or so I thought, I never talked to anyone, so how could I know what was simple to others «Well it's quite hard actually, you're saying you can't miss this hypothetical person, because they didn't hurt you. Well that's the reason you should miss them instead, they were a good person.» he said scribbling on his notebook «Yeah they were, but they left me nothing, no memories, not good not bad, they had a personality and I was just there pretending to be like them, I don't miss them because I've learnt how to be them, because they weren't hard to replace.» I said, and I felt bad saying it, it made me look like I felt superior to everyone around me, which wasn't true,but I didn't know how to explain it.
After that we remained silent for a while «Am I easy to replace?» he then asked thoughtful «I don't know you yet, so I can't really tell.» I said «But I feel like I'm replaceable for sure.» I added, so he could know, he could know I felt that way about myself too, so he could tell I wasn't a vain person «I don't think you are.» he said «Everybody knows you, every girl likes you.» he giggled «Well yeah but at the end of the day, what kind of sign could I have left on them? Nothing. I never said a word, all they have is curiosity and doubt, they'll forget about me in no time when they grow old with their husbands and live their happy little cul-de-sac life.» I said looking at the high ceiling of the big library «Thanks.» he said with glimmering eyes «See you in the theatre.» he added and the bell rang.
When school ended I got back home and got ready for club, I walked back to school and entered the theatre «Hi there Soter.» Bodie greeted when I got in, the boy looked rather tired «Hi, how are you?» I asked climbing up the stage «Fine, just a little bit tired.» he yawned «What about you?» he then asked «Ok I guess.» I said taking my notebook out of my backpack «Have you seen Darcy?» he then asked again looking now quite worried «Yes in school, haven't seen him getting here though, why?» I scratched my head «He got into a fight out of school, and I don't know where he went.» he said, and as he was just ending his sentence, Rosemary and Darcy came through the door, the ginger girl was holding a cloth to his nose and it was all bloody «Fuckin hell! What happened?» Bodie asked jumping off the stage and running towards his best friend «He's a total douchebag!» Rosemary yelled giving Bodie the bloody cloth and then storming off back stage, I looked at the scene unfolding «Fuck you!» Darcy yelled running a bloody hand through his bottle blonde hair, Bodie looked at me and signed me to follow her “I'm no good with girls, what am I supposed to do?” I asked myself and a voice in my head replied “Leave a sign.” it said, so I followed her backstage in the fitting rooms, she was violently crying and covering her face with her hands «Hey Rosemary.» I said softly getting closer «What happened?» I asked sitting in the chair next to where she was sitting «He is reckless and dumb and...» she was spitting her feelings out through heavy sobs «Oh...why does it always have to be like this? Darcy is fucking dumb!» she yelled again so that the other boy could hear «What did he do?» I asked resting a hand on her shivering shoulder «He told everyone I was his girlfriend so that his ex girlfriend would have gotten jealous, without telling me first, and now I've lost my boyfriend and my best friend probably.» she cried out «I'm sorry that happened, Darcy is a dumb boy for sure.» I said trying to sound empathetic, and I'd say it worked because she stopped crying, looked at me and hugged me «Thank you for listening Soter.» she said «You're a kind boy, NOTHING LIKE THAT STUPID DARCY! » she yelled again, and I thought “It's true, girls like me.” «OH WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP FUCKIN HELL! » he yelled back this time, but she wasn't crying anymore, she smiled and took me by the hand, then she took me back on stage and sighed heavily «You will all help me.» she announced «To make up with my best friend.» she concluded putting both her hands on her hips «Who's your best friend?» Knox asked coming inside through the side of the stage «Olivia.» she said frowning «Of fuck d'ya think she'll come if you two fought?» Bodie asked concerned «Yeah. She will.» she said smiling dearly «Well then, we'll just have to wait.» Darcy said lying on the bench still holding a cloth to his nose «Wait? What we waiting for?» Edgar asked making his presence known by opening the door to the theatre «Olivia.» Rosemary said «Well y'all might as well stop waiting, she's not coming.» Michelle said stepping in before Edgar, Rosemary squeezed my hand, and I knew something inside her was broken «How'd you know?» she then asked, looking quite unbothered “what an actress.” I thought «Because she looked distraught, and if I was in that situation I wouldn't show up.» Michelle shrugged and jumped on the stage «What happened?» Layla entered the little theatre sweating and out of breath, Edgar looked out and smiled, then he put down his belongings and started heading towards me  «The princesses had a fight.» Michelle said rolling her eyes «You shouldn't be so mean.» Lacrima peaked out behind Layla with her tiny voice.
After that we all sat in a circle on stage trying to find a distraction and thanks to Layla we did «So what do we do for the Christmas play?» she asked smiling «Why don't we do something that Olivia likes? She will forgive you then, won't she?»  Lacrima suggested «Yeah, that seems like a great idea.» Layal agreed «Well, I think it would definitely help.» Rosemary smiled «Only if you all are ok with it obviously.» she then added looking around «I'm cool with it.» I said smiling at her, but while I was smiling I could see Edgar rolling his eyes in the corner of mine « Cool then, what play would Olivia suggest?» Darcy asked, the blood had now dried up and he had big red circles under his eyes, it had all bruised up «Well, she would want to do her play.» Rosemary said smiling excitedly «Her play?» Knox asked quite surprised «Yes, well she wrote the script some months ago and wanted to suggest it as soon as she could, I have it with me because she wanted me to talk to you about it.» Rosemary said, everybody looked at her «Olivia isn't shy, why wouldn't she suggest it herself?» Michelle pointed out «Because she thought that it would have been more easier for me to get a yes.» Rosemary said with a blaming look «Why ? » Bodie asked «Because she's black, and people like to tell her no for whatever reason, they always like to make it harder for her.» Rosemary said with a tint of irritability in her voice «Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.» Layla said «We surely wouldn't have made it harder for her.» she then added reaching out for the script that Rosemary was giving her «Thanks.» Rosemary said.
And so it was decided, we were going to use that script.