Totally not P:EG Oneshots

𝙾𝚑 𝙶𝚘𝚍, 𝙷𝚎𝚕𝚙 𝙷𝚎𝚛 𝙽𝚘𝚠

Toshiko was a 14 year old middle school girl. She always made good grades and tried her best to be nice to everyone. She was well-mannered and exceeded expectations in her ultimate talent. She'd made plenty mistakes in her life—everyone has—but had always tried her best to learn from them.

So what did she do to deserve this? This horrid situation—this great despair. To be trapped in an "academy" surrounded by a dome with 15 other people. The only way she could get out was to kill another student or survive till the end, but that wasn't how things were going to play out. They all promised not to fall for Tozu's mind games. They all promised to find a way out without anyone dying. Toshiko had full hope that she would be free soon, free to continue the life that she barely had a chance to live.

〰️

Toshiko notices things that others don't. She can see tension and longing and all other negative emotions just by looking at a face. It was a gift that she was proud to have—up until now. Now that gift was a curse upon her. She could see how much desperation and anxiousness was present between her peers. She noticed the fearful looks they gave each other and how they'd try their best to not get too close.

It made her worry. Was everyone lying when they said they trusted each other? Was everyone secretly plotting a murder?

No, no it couldn't be. The promise they all made back there was genuine. She could tell. The sense of hope and willingness to keep everyone alive was real. They all meant it from the bottom of their hearts.

So why did she feel such panic in the air? And why was she the only one that felt it?

It was so unfair. Her gift was now like a huge weight upon her back. Her gift had now become a danger to her. If she told anyone else about how she felt, a huge target would be placed upon her. But Toshiko couldn't stand it anymore! She desperately needed to let it out. She needed to tell someone how she felt, so that she wouldn't feel alone in all this.

〰️

Toshiko was a coward; A big, weak coward who could never live up to her word. She had the chance to confide in someone about her problems, but she couldn't.

What if they didn't take her seriously? What if they told everyone else about what she was feeling. Then they would all blame her for trying to turn the group against each other. But that was just her paranoia speaking, wasn't it? She should've just told someone how she felt. Only then would she feel better.

But no, she just had to back out at the last minute! She was too scared to be wrong about something, she was too scared to uncover her face, and now she was too scared to speak out in a dangerous situation.

It's always been like that. Toshiko had always been a crybaby. There was nothing new about that fact.

Yet still, it only made her feel worse to realize just how weak she was.

〰️

Toshiko was in desperate need of help. Thoughts of murder were circling her brain over and over and over again. She couldn't help it. Reality was starting to dawn on her, and she knows it was dawning on others too. All of their escape attempts have failed drastically and they made little to no progress. Toshiko knew that the only way out was through murder. Someone would have to die in order for her to be free.

But she didn't want anyone to die! She didn't want to lay her eyes on another dead body ever again whether it was real or fake!

She needed someone to save her from this horror: someone like Wolfgang. He promised her that he would protect her no matter what. He promised that as long as he lived no one would lay a finger on her. Wolfgang was her savior. He was like a secondary father to her. She wanted to tell him everything she was feeling; All the anguish and tension and desperation. But Toshiko was a coward after all. Her paranoia always got the best of her.

For now, she can only keep confronting herself.

〰️

Toshiko was at her breaking point. She could tell that something bad was going to happen very, very soon. Everything seemed to be getting worse. The tension, the looks, the hope they all collectively held to escape, none of it was improving. She spoke to Wolfgang again earlier hoping that he could lift her spirits. She had asked him if he still thinks everyone would get out alive. Being the optimistic guy he is, he answered yes.

Toshiko didn't believe him. He was a liar. He was only lying to keep her happy and hopeful. And God, did she despise that.

She now couldn't depend on the person she looked up to the most. She had no one, and it was all her fault. She had the chance to talk to someone, but her childish manner got in the way of that. Why was she like this? Why did she never take any chances? She lived a very meaningless life outside of matchmaking before she got trapped here. Why did she take everything for granted? Now her whole world was crumbling down on her and nobody was there to save her. Nobody was there to comfort her or talk their feelings out. Nobody here was on her side.

Not a single soul.

〰️

Toshiko was a 14 year old middle school girl. She always made good grades and tried her best to be nice to everyone. She was weak and exceeded expectations in her talent.

She had just made the biggest mistake of her life.

A mistake so big that it could cost Toshiko her own life.

She deserved every bit of pain she felt. She deserved all of her paranoia and despair. How could she let her mind be molded this quickly? How could she be this gullible? She fell for the mind games. She gave into the despair.

She was so, so selfish. Putting every emotional thought before every logical one. She kept lying to herself, hoping that those lies would become reality. But now, she had to suffer the consequences for her own actions.

She had never lived her life to the fullest. She had never took any big risks. Even when presented with the opportunity she always backed away in fear, like the weak little baby she was.

Why did she always convince herself that she wasn't a child? She had always had high expectations for herself, and she had always seen to exceed them. But now that lifestyle had come crashing back down on her at the worst time of her life.

She had just made a horrid, terrible mistake and she only had herself to blame.

Now, she would never be free.

Free to live a life that she was too scared to live.