Dhaagey: The Ties that Bind Us

5. abandoned

The warmth didn't last, once again. It left as soon as the Shahs left, leaving the same new Murtasim behind.

Meerab wasn't sure if she liked the new Murtasim.

One who didn't allow himself to be happy. One who rushed from place to place and worked all the time.

Unlike the Murtasim she had known, this new Murtasim didn't look her way apart from when they ran into each other in the hallway while he rushed off from one place to another. When he returned late at night, he sometimes let his anger get the best of him, snapping at the staff, and then immediately realizing he shouldn't have and apologizing.

She wondered if no one else saw how absolutely exhausted he looked, crushed under the weight of his responsibilities. Or if they had just started ignoring it because there wasn't much that they could do about it. She remembered Maryam's words, but what can you do when she had mentioned how tired Murtasim looked.

Maa Begum too only lamented that she rarely ever saw her son, like she just accepted the fact fully. She had even been surprised that he came home early when they had guests over, and that he had stuck around even after dinner.

Meerab wondered if everyone had just assumed that the weight of Murtasim's responsibilities meant that he would be like he was.

His warmth had dimmed.

She hated it.

She could feel the heavy weight of his worries clouding over him by just being in his presence.

His brow constantly furrowed; his shoulders tensed as if carrying a burden too heavy for one person.

Over the next week, Meerab watched him struggle to keep up with the never-ending demands of his responsibilities, feeling her heart ache every time she caught sight of him. He didn't complain about it, she knew he wouldn't, because he was Murtasim, he would quietly bear it all.

It was difficult for Meerab to see the man she loved so deeply suffer in silence. She longed to ease his troubles, to take on some of his weight, but she knew it wouldn't be received well. The Khan Family had clear lines for what their roles were...or what her role would be when she became Murtasim's wife.

But she still tried.

She asked Maa Begum if she noticed how tense Murtasim was.

Maa Begum had remained quiet, likely recognizing her son's struggle but feeling helpless at her inability to help. She had a tendency to shove things under the rug when she didn't want to deal with them.

Meerab mentioned that she had seen Armaan bhai going through the same thing, but as Hamza bhai and Arslan started sharing the burden, things got easier. She wanted to set herself up as someone that could help.

But her words were met with a quip of how she sadly wasn't blessed with sons like her sister-in-law's side of the family was.

Her inquires to what she could possibly help with to lighten Murtasim's workload were shut down, she was told to not concern herself with such things. That Murtasim was managing fine, that he had grown the business significantly, that the villagers looked up to him and respected him.

She knew all of that could be true and Murtasim could still feel burdened and need help.

Murtasim wasn't fine.

And Meerab was never one to give up. She would bring it up with Murtasim...if he was ever home and she got a moment alone with him.

She only caught glimpses of him in the week that passed after the night they sat in the living room smiling at each other surrounded by their cousins.