Shrek got up at 5 a.m. on the dot. Quickly ran to the bathroom as the muscles in his rectum began to convulse. He slammed his ass on the toilet and sharted into the bowl while roaring a pained ogre groan. He wondered if this was a punishment from all the deadly sins he has committed in the past. He almost forgot that his roommate was sound asleep just a few feet away. He actually wasnt tho because he came to the door and knocked. "ねえ、そこで大丈夫?" asked Sonic.
"IT'S NOT ALROITY!! ME ASS CHEEKS ARE GONE!"
"すみません、あなたがそんなことをしているなんて信じられません。玉ねぎはいかがですか？" Sonic grabbed some large, scrumptiously ripe onions that were collecting dust in the corner of the little dorm and placed them beside the bathroom door, on top of a small container that held a few 1800s rotten chili dogs.
"Oh, SONEY, you are such a great creature friend!" Shrek immediately opened the door, no pants on, shit smeared all over his thighs, and took a large chomp out of the first onion he got his big hands on.
"どういたしましてシュレック、私はあなたがタマネギをどれだけ愛しているか知っています、そして私があなたをどれだけ愛しているか知っています" exclaimed Sonic. Despite his friendliness with Shrek, he began lighting every candle he had on deck, opening up the windows to let some untainted oxygen into the diminutive dorm room. "シュレック、あなたは私にとって大きな意味がありますが、最初にたわごとを一掃してください.悪臭."
"SORREREY there me old friend, I used to not cleaning after me self since I grew up alone in the swampy wampy." Shrek chuckled and scratched his neck before walking back into the exploded bathroom. 'First day here, and I already causing problems for Sonei. . . ' Shrek looked deep in the mirror and it cracked, 'way to go SHEK!' He let out a quiet snarl and began wiping up his mess. 'Always ruining things for friends.'Shrek finally wiped his ass and threw the paper down the now demolished toilet. "Well I giuess its time to get back to the sleepy time." Shrek turned off the light of the bathroom and walked back to his bed. Before he layed down he lit a zucchini scented candle, one of the first candles he made, and sighed deeply sinking into the quietness of the room.
A total of two seconds later Shadow barged into the dorm, shouting"ソニック？湖畔の公園で 3 時間待ったのに、どうして来なかったの？くそ野郎、何かあると思った！" and slapped Sonic's 20th chili dog out of his hand.
"私はあなたを立ててごめんなさい、影を見てください、私は誤って眠りに落ち、それから私のルームメイトは彼のズボンをたわごとしました。 また、私は内面化しました" Sonic tried to explain
Shrek opened his eyes wide, very quickly catching on to what was happening. Suddenly he felt horror, almost disgust, "Oi matey. . . I didn't know you were a fagit!" He let out a confused roar and sprinted out of the room. Deciding that some good food would cure his complicated emotions he headed towards the finest dining hall.
As Srek entered the firgunson dining hall he noticed that it was closed. He was devastated and began to walk back to the door when all of a sudden he ran into somebody.
"ciao là! I Spongebob Squarepants, I'm the cucinare per una delle mense." The sponge said happily. "You look SO sad, vorresti che ti preparassi da mangiare?" The kind sponge offered.
"What are you saying yer yellow crusted cereal box??" Shrek asked, confused since he did not speak whatever nonsense this sponge was speaking.
"Mamma mia!" yelped Spongebob, quite offended by the sullen fellow's crassness. "Normalmente sono così gentile, ma parli terribilmente! Devi essere senza genitori per essere un uomo così malvagio?"
"I don't know what the hell you talking about lad but I think you are being respctuful so I'll just follow you, whereaver you go, till the end of time"
'This humongous block of a green man is so stupid!' thought the talking sponge, but it was in his nature to cook for everyone so he begna walking towards one of the community kitchens, spatula in hand. "I make de burger!"
"Oh alrightu then you yellow smugger, make sure to put extra oni-" but before sjrek could finish his sentence he remembered the day before, when he decided to become a better ogre and leave his past with onions and Fiona in the past. "NO ONIONS!" said Shrek suddenly, spooking the italian cook.
"Okey greeny, mama mia pizza pia" said the italian sponge. Spongebob began to mash some whole grain ground beef in the kitchen. He put it in a bowl and added some green peppers and jalapenos, along with a generous dash of sEAL SLAt, a pinch of cumin, a dollop of pepper and a slit of garlic bowserr. He then turned on the girl and greased it up. Oh how he loved greased up girls, ever since he was a child living in the heart of Italy. "Accendi la ragazza!" his grandfather would say and spongebob would come running up from the vineyard and start up that girl. He slapped he whole grain meat on the girl and while it cooked he chopped up some sweet watery lettuce and savory tomato. After 5 minutes of sizzling the beefy grains, Spongebob turned off the heat, grabbed someo juicy sesame seed buns and slapped the thick burger meat on the buns. He decorated the boring burger with slippery wet lettuce, red delicious tomato, tangy ketchup, yellow mustard, and 3 month-old pickles. "Viola! De burge è fatta ogre." The yellow boy said with a bright smile. He plated up the burger and handed it to Shrek, who looked deep in thought. Shrek wondered if he could ever put something so beautiful into his wretched mouth full of cavities and gingivitis. He brought his big meaty green hands to the plump sesame seed bun and opened his stretchy mandible. Just as he was about to stuff the boger in his mouth he heard a plead coming from somewhere.
"Pleeze noo!" cried the deliciously scrumptious burgler. " I have a family, two wives and a kid!" Shrek looked at the burger that was emitting its grease all over his hands like tears. He couldn't help but feel... HUNGRY! Shrek jammed the burger into his big ogre mouth and gobbled it up like there was no tommarroq. Spongebob then comes over with his burger and sits down at the same table that shrek is sitting down at because shrek was sitting down at a table. "Cosa ne pensi del mio hamburger? Pretty gooey, no?" asked the yellow spong with a bright toothy smile as he began to dig his buck teeth into the soft yeast of the buns. He moaned in pleasure and tore the whole-grain beef apart with his molars, after swallowing he sucked on the juicy flesh, gathering all of the grease inside his mouth and gulped it down before he could choke. "Mama mia!" says spongebob conclusively.
