TW/ guilt, bugs, spiders, body gore, death
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Guilt has 8 legs and lives in my stomach. She gnaws away at the scraps I consume and builds webs in the caverns of my organs.
She lays her eggs just before chewing a hole through the lining of my stomach, crawling about on the surface of my guts. She finds her new home nestled between two wrinkles of my intestines, satisfied her offspring will continue to feed off me for years to come.
Her babies hatch, and my stomach wreches. It does everything it can to expel the vile creatures causing this pain, but to no avail. They travel in a swarm, from buzzing in my stomach as a trail of them travels up my throat, restricting all the air to my lungs. They pile together, reaching my uvula and pulling it down the back of my throat, I choke whenever I try to swallow back my tears. They never stop. Soon their mother begins to claw her way out from my body, chewing and tearing away the flesh and muscles from behind the skin of my stomach. She stabs her pointy legs against my skin, trying her hardest to break to the surface and leave me dying on the floor.
But try as she may she can't. The skin is too thick, and she's tired. Soon she dies, while her children grow in size. The offspring of Guilt grow everyday, they've even invaded my mind. They sit behind my eyes and chew away at the membranes, giving me headaches I can't explain. Sometimes they'll swarm out of my mouth uncontrollably, so many of them leave I think there's no way possible there's any left inside of me.
But then my stomach turns into knots and I feel the new babies being born, home to what's left of my body, already once decimated by Guilt's offspring. There could hardly be anything left for them to consume, I'd imagine. But everyday I'd feel them eat into me more and more, into new parts of my body I didn't think they could reach.
Guilt picked a good home to thrive in.
YOU ARE READING
what's left in the grief?
Non-FictionUsing this as my personal diary, to let out all the thoughts I sit in my bed and lose sleep over. I hope in some way, here I will feel less alone, and maybe, someone out there will take solace in knowing they are not alone, someone else feels thi...
