Broken Bridges

Chapter 15

                            October 3rd, 2020
                                   Harper
What is love? Everybody has their own definition of love. They have their own characteristics that define love. In my opinion, love isn't a feeling. Love is an action. Love is what you do because of what you feel. Love is fighting for someone else without even caring about the value of the fight. We don't understand the depth of the love we are in until we lose it.  It shouldn't be like that. They should know. They should always know how much you love them. Your actions should always make them feel loved. They should always know how much you care.
                                       ***
Jeremiyah and I lay in my bed, tangled up with each other, just talking about life. My mom isn't home because she never is and Alena is over at Lilliana's house hanging out with her sister, Skylar. Mine and Jeremiyah's conversation dies down and we just stare at each other in silence. My eyes flutter as tiredness floods my body. I yawn, closing my eyes.
" Tell me your deepest secret." Jeremiyah says, causing me to abruptly open my eyes.
" I don't have one."
" Bullshit." A mischievous grin appears across his face. I know you do."
" Like what?" I say, curiously.
" I can't tell you exactly what it is, but I know you have one." I stare at him for a second, thinking about all the secrets that I have. Ones that only I know of.
" Okay." I say. I sit up on my bed. Jeremiyah remains laying down in front of me. "My mom and I have been lying to everyone about my dad."
" How so?" He questions, squinting his eyes in confusion.
" When he left when I was nine, my mom told everyone they just fell out of love and they divorced. " I begin, my voice tensing up. "The truth is, my mom found out my dad had been cheating on her for five years of their marriage. He has a daughter the same age as Alena with another woman. When my mom found out, he divorced her and left us and never looked back. He's now married to the woman and has another daughter that is two years older than Alena. His wife is currently pregnant with a baby boy."  Tears begin to fall down my face and land on Jeremiyah's arm. " My mom fell into a dark depression that sparked her alcoholism and now.." I pause. " My life is the way it is." Jeremiyah grabs my hand and squeezes it, rubbing his thumb over mine.
" Hey, I didn't mean to make you cry, beautiful."  he says, comforting me. " I just wanted us to be intimate with each other in a different way other than sex."  My crying turns to laughing. "Woah, what are you laughing about?" he asks, confused.
" You talked to Lilliana, didn't you?" He turns red.
" Maybe." His voice raises. " You didn't tell me much about how you felt about that day so I figured you told Lilliana. To be fair, I went to Maliyah first." He said, defensively. I just laugh at him.
" That's an invasion of privacy, but I  understand why you did it." I say. " I'm not mad." I smile to enforce that I'm not angry with him. " Your turn."  I say. " What's your deepest secret?" He stutters before he begins.
" I've been trying to tell you this for a while. I am.. really really in love with you Harper." He tackles me on the bed and we both go into a laughing fit. My face turns beat red as I struggle to breath.
" I'm serious though." I say after calming down. " What's your deepest secret?"
" I have no idea. I can't think of things like that right now. You're too beautiful." He kisses my cheek and I shiver due to the tickle in his touch.
" I have something else to tell you. I haven't told you because I've been afraid that you'd leave me. I was scared. I just let it happen." I rant, my lips quivering.
" Woah woah! Calm down, Harp. What happened?" His eyes fill with worry.
" When I was shopping for my prom dress, A guy cornered me in the mall and started.." I begin.
" What did he do to you?" Jeremiyah says, anger and fury in his eyes.
" He started touching me. He touched my thighs and my boobs. He was grinding up against me." My throat feels like it's closing.
" Oh Harper. " He grabs me and pulls me down next to him on the bed, holding me in his arms. My heart starts to feel heavy. It starts to feel so full of love and happiness. This was the first time I actually opened up to Jeremiyah voluntarily. He didn't catch me in the middle of a mental breakdown or at a point where I couldn't handle it anymore and just let it out. I was vulnerable with him. In a way that made me feel safe and secure. We were intimate with our clothes on, barely even touching physically and he accepted me. He accepted all of me. He accepted me with all my flaws and insecurities. Love is both an action and a feeling. The feeling of being safe, protected and cared about unconditionally. A series of actions that prove your words are true. He proves that he loves me each and every day.
Jeremiyah strokes his fingers through my hair.
" I will never leave you, Harper Fields." He kisses my forehead. "And I promise you that."