Cordarone (Hashirama x Madara AND Tobirama x Izuna)

17. A letter (Hashirama)

3 years later.

Dear Izuna and Tobirama,

I hope you are well. 

I just arrived back from my travels. I learned a lot, not only by meeting the different kings and queens, but also by meeting the people. I have encountered many interesting cultural differences that I will take to heart. Some might even entail changes within our own country. A rough path of hard work lays before me, but I welcome it. It might take my mind off other things. 

I congratulate you sincerely to your new home. Imagine if I was surprised when I came back after my months away to discover you have moved out of the palace together! It feels empty without the two of you, but please know that the door is open for you at any time. You do not need to ask - you only show up at the doorstep, which is yours as much as it is mine.

I heard you moved to a remote island a way away from the shore? You have described it as beautiful to the people you left behind here, so I imagine a white beach and palms. I am curious about its history. What meaning does it have to you? Was it where you shared your first kiss? Or many first things? What makes the island dear to your heart? Forgive a sentimental king for his curiosity. 

I also heard that you are planning to build a small house there. You two never cease to surprise, and impress, me! I saw that you, Izuna, clever boy, had even made a drawing of it. I liked the timbers. And you two are so strong, I imagine you have already come far in building it!

Madara says hi. As you know, he cannot take Cordarone anymore since its long-time effects caused him irreversible lung damage, so now he struggles with both lungs and heart. He does not walk still and he sleeps most of the time. I noticed today that he held a hand to the scar on his stomach that he got that awful day and I believed he is ashamed of it. I am currently binding a wreath of roses that I plan on laying on his abdomen as he sleeps, to encircle the scar, so that when he wakes up he will immediately realise I love everything about him. 

Madara told me he knew why he had collapsed the moment it happened. When he learned to read, the first thing he did was reading about Cordarone, and found out that its long-term effects would be terrifying. Not even our doctors knew that since it was such a new study, and since more studies have not been conducted since, it never reached them. But he didn't think he would survive for long enough for them to develop, so he didn't tell anybody  Personally, I suspect he just didn't want to bother anyone here and ask them to change the medicine to something else, and I am angry with him for it, although I never show it. But as soon as he collapsed, he knew it was his lungs. And that he was done for, if not given a lung transplant. 

I know this might come as a shock to you, and I apologise for that. But Madara stood in front of you both to protect you, but also in order to die. But he didn't. He survived. And I thank the heavens for that. Although I'm not entirely sure he does...

I am sorry to give you this dark piece of information. We have this rule between us, Madara and I, that unless any one of us explicitly says they don't want the other to tell anyone what they are about to tell, or have told, or is telling, then we are free to vent. Well, Madara never asked me to keep this to myself. I think he knew that I could not carry this between the two of us alone; in the diad that is us, Madara can carry very little emotional weight. So I'm telling you in search of comfort and hope. 

It has been hard, being away from him for so long to travel. Even if it was him who finally convinced me to go. And he was right (although don't tell him I said that since he'll tell me "I told you so" no-end, the bastard). It did me a lot of good, getting away from the palace and the country and see something else than my husband's bedside for a while. 

Look at me, blabbering on about myself. I am only twenty-seven (in case you youngsters have forgotten how young I am), yet it feels like I have lived a thousand lifetimes. Forgive me, Izuna, as I know it is an incredibly privileged thing for me to say. I know some people of this world would give anything to switch places with me. That's why I only ever complain to you two, and keep my complaints well-hidden from the rest of the world that might not be as understanding as you are.

I hope you want to get married one day. I will happily host your wedding at the palace. But I suspect you would prefer getting wed just the two of you on your island. Since we don't have priests at the palace anymore, and I am not entirely fond of religion since what they did to you, Izuna, I have taken it upon myself to become a wedding officiant. Just in case... I would be privileged to wed you two. 

With this letter, I hope you have also received my gift. I know you desire a simple life, but please don't be fooled by the many boxes! It contains only basics to live a remote life, such as sugar and flour and almond milk (it lasts very long compared to regular milk) and dried fruit and pickled vegetables and cookies and soaps and hair oils and some robes and...

I realise that my definition of what is basic may differ slightly from what is known as basic to others. But know that it is sent with love. 

If you desire some space, to detach yourselves from the royal world, I understand that. Take however much time you feel you need and must. But know that I miss you, and that I pray that you will visit one day, and that that day is not too far off in the future. 

Madara is currently irritating me from our bed while I sit at our desk and write. He tries to trigger me to start a fight with him, because he craves normality. But I just don't have it in my heart to be cruel to him. Maybe, I'll pretend. Later, when he's fallen back to sleep, I'll go out and continue on that wreath I made for his scar so he can wake up to it tomorrow. 

I hope this letter finds you well and happy. With much love, now and always,

Hashirama

xxx