《~FATED JOURNEY~》

Episode 45

Sachi's POV

"I was smoking because you were ignoring me understood, I gave you the answer of your question now stop yelling. And yeah until you tell me the truth why are you ignoring me, I won't stop this any sooner." saying this he started releasing that smoke he was holding, hearing him I got chills and I stood there helpless.

Looking at him smoking like maniac, he finished that one cigarette and took out another one and looking at his red eyes with full of hurt by my behavior I was feeling more and more guilty for ignoring him like this. And in just nick of time he ended his third cigarette making my eyes fill with warm tears.

He took another one and was about to burn when I said stopping him "I want divorce from you that's why I was ignoring you." Hearing me he got froze and the cigarette he was holding fell from his hand making me feel more guilty for him but this divorce is all for his good. He said still not facing me "Why? Am I that bad for you that you want divorce from me?"

I shook my head as no and said "No, you are perfect but I'm not the one for you Sanjh." saying this my tears made their way out. He turned looking at me that's the first time I saw tears in his eyes, he was holding them very securely. He said "I want to know where I got wrong now that you want divorce."

I looked down not saying anything. He held my shoulders saying or say half yelling "Why are you playing with my heart Sachi? I was begging you to tell me the reason, whatever you want I will change in myself for you but at least tell me."

He left my shoulder and I looked at him with teary eyes saying "You don't need to change anything Sanjh, the thing is I need to change in myself and I don't think I will able to change it soon." hearing me his hands went in his hairs dragging them backwards showing his hot, handsome face and he said "I understand. What you are saying? About those fucking panic attacks. HOW MANY TIMES I NEED TO TELL YOU THAT this is not any mental illness Sachi. We can overcome it."

I closed my eyes because of his sudden shout. I said "Sanjh but what about your company, career and all your har-" he again cut me in the middle huffing in anger he said or say yelled "IT'S MY CAREER, MY COMPANY. I WILL HANDLE THEM SACHI." I looked down and said "but you were the one who wanted divorce in past"

"THAT WAS ALL IN PAST, I even cleared that thing next day. Can't you see my love Sachi or you're doing this just to get your revenge because I behaved with you that way?" hearing him, I instantly looked at his eyes shaking my head as no saying "What revenge? I don't have anything in my mind like that. I just don't want to become your burden, I just... just because of me I don't want to make your life hard. I want to see you happy." I said all looking at his eyes.

We both had tears in our eyes, difference was that my tears were flowing carelessly on my cheeks and his, he was holding them tightly in his eyes hiding his pain from me. He suddenly chuckled sadly making me shiver because it was sounding like a devil's laugh.

He said "Oh so you're thinking that if you leave me then I will become the world's most happiest man, right?" I nodded my head looking down, he suddenly took some steps back shouting "HERE I'M SHOUTING AND TELLING YOU THAT I FUCKING LOVE YOU. Do you really think Sachi I will be happy after you leave me. I will be the broken one if you leave this house, if you really want to see me happy, if you really loved me once then please don't talk like this, like a fool."

I looked at him and his eyes were dark red, I was about to hold his hand but he said holding my shoulder instead "Look Sachi, I'm not forcing you to not give me divorce, it's your right also I know. But we both love each other, don't we? I don't want this thing to happen because of some silly reasons. The problem is your panic attack. I promise you, I will take care of it and in future you won't get any. Panic attack comes because of stress, this is not any illness. If you want divorce because I did those things in past then I'm truly sorry, it was in past, I can't change that so sorry for that and I'm also sorry because for realizing my feelings so late. And I always told you this and now also I'm again telling you that you're not a burden for me and never ever will be, so stop calling yourself a burden."