Unblinking

Guardian Of The Death

                            9

Fred isn't here. I'm sure. At least yes... My instincts are sure. He is not here.
"Why hasn't he come now?"
"He doesn't wanna bring more trouble to his little sister" Little sister. I hate it. Little. Sister. Yeah. I know I just have regained from my unconscious state and have lost my 16 year memory but that doesn't make me weak.
Being here. Especially being here without Fred's presence makes me feel so strong. I'm capable. Of whatever that comes against me.
"What trouble" I can feel his hand on my shoulder. "Can he bring?"
He exhales loudly, hiding a chuckle in it. They are all hiding. He is hiding something from me. Something that relates Fred.
His hands... Ooohh. Gosh. I try not to show too much of it on my face as his fingers run their way along my shoulders to my... Oh. Hips.
He grabs my waist. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Do not do it. Do not make a move. Let him to– I can't– I pull his head towards mine and his lips meet mine.
We don't stop. I don't want to leave him.
We don't mind whoever that enters into the room until– Uh oh. He pulls back his head looking at Gosh. No. It shouldn't be. No. No. No. Mrs Richardson. It must not be.
Urghhh. Urghh. My head hurts like– What is that? Why–
Red light. Red light. Red– Black light. Black room. Red light. Black cave. I don't know. I'm lying on the floor again. The stone. The sandy stone of floor. I move my hands, the weight of the chains– Aaahhhhh. My head can feel– What does he want?
"Is that all you think I can do?" Urgh. He is kicking me in my groin, the excruciating pain vibrating from my thighs.
"Is" Pain. "That" My chest. "All" My head. "You" I can feel the burden of– Aaaaahhhh. Why is my body wet? I can feel the chillness of the water on me. Cold water.
The water is getting inside my ears now. My chest is constricting. My whole body is cracking. Crumpling up. I can feel the pressure of the chains under my wrists increasing. But I'm too weak to lift myself up. I won't get up. I want my eyelids to stay open. Don't sleep. Don't sleep. Do not close your bloody eyes. I want to pull the chain. I want to make him fall down. I want to overpower him. But is it even real?
"Sara?" I can feel breath on my cheeks and water on my lips. I part my lips, feeling the glass against my lips and water on my tongue. I sip the water not opening my eyes. I don't wanna open my eyes. I don't wanna know who it is. I don't. But I wish it is Fred. Fredric Abbott, my brother. I don't think anymore.
I tear open my eyes.
"Sara. Sara. Sara" There is panic in Dennis' voice. His eyes are not focused on mine but on my mouth. Why? Is he in need of me? What happened?
"What?" I ask, my breath stinking of something.
"You slept really a long time" Slept? I don't think I slept. I won't usually sleep when a memory hits me. Fred told me that I will groan and do all stupid things when I get a memory. I check the time on the clock hung in the wall just in front of me. It is half past 4. Wait. I got this memory in the middle of a kiss. When Mrs Richardson passed me. Was it really a memory? Or a dream? Where did I actually go to during those memories? A cave? Who was it? I could hear him. I could sense him. Hitting me. Kicking me. Torturing me. Putting me in chains. Trying to kill me. But not really. I know he didn't want me dead. But who knows if it was a memory or a future foretell? Wait. I haven't thought of that one. What if that visions which I thought to be memories were actually visions. For the future. But the pains were real. So, were they pains from past? I don't believe anything myself. Anymore.
"Do you–" I manage to not choke on my saliva as I swallow it hard.
"Do you know where I lived?"
He just shakes his head silently. His hands are once again making their way to me– Oops. He grabs the glass that is kept on the table behind the bed. I flush. Not because that I expect him to touch me but because I find him attractive. Attractive. So much. He doesn't feel like he's my present boyfriend. He was my past. My forever one. I don't know why he even feels like he belong to me.
He feels so familiar. I don't remember how home feels like. But now I can feel it. Feel it in him.
•••
Looking at the clock doesn't speed the time. But staring does. That's what I've been doing for the past well... I don't even remember the time I started to stare at it.
But I know it's been a long time now from when Dennis went to bring Fred in here.
The door slightly opens "Sara dear. I've got some cookies for you" Mrs Richardson. Why?
She settles down in the bedside chair.
She opens the box she brought, the smell of cookies spreading everywhere.
She looks the same as she did when I was at her place. No changes. But she did see our– Never mind. She just won't mind them. I can't ignore her. She acts like nothing's ever happened before.
Her fingers are ringed. Why didn't I notice it before? She takes out a cookie herself and pops a bit into her mouth.
My stomach is full but I still take one piece for the appetizing smell.
I take a bite, not looking into her eye. Nor anything. It feels... so much like a heaven.
"Do you think Fred is still alive?" Her voice is calm but piercing. I look up and find her staring straight through my eyes.
I breathe out. Why hasn't it crossed my mind yet?
"Yes" I hope. I want him to be.
"His body was cremated yesterday under the authority's surveillance."

                              To be continued...