[HaiKaveh] The Light of A Home

1

Kaveh had a firm belief that each and every house shone a different light from their windows. Whether the walls inside, curtains or lamp shade changed that color, it was always unique to that house. To him, every home had a color of its own for the family inside to relish in.

As he walked down the streets of Sumeru he recalled the times when he was younger, watching each window as he walked the same path he does now. He was too young to really understand why the lights were all different but nevertheless he loved it.

That fascination only grew as he got older. Kaveh wasn't sure why this fascination never subsided over time. Maybe it was his artistic and architectural heart at work or maybe his own desires to see that light and recognize it as home.

It's not like Kaveh hadn't seen light at the houses he had lived in previously, that was practically impossible after all. But the light that was supposed to be soft would instead blare into his skull and sting his head to look at.

Yet with being the brightest light it was also the emptiest. There was no longer a home within his mother's old house. And the place he lived now, well he couldn't bring himself to call it a home.

As memories of an empty house and lonely nights ran through his head, he sped up his pace. He didn't want to look at the lights anymore. He didn't want to face the thing he could never have. To face the thing he had ruined himself. It was all far too much. So he sped up even more.

Each step against the stone drummed in his ear, yet he continued to increase his pace. He still slammed his foot down over and over again because the loud unbearable sound was still more bearable than the feeling of loneliness.

When he finally arrived back at his house he stuck his hands in his pockets to find nothing inside.

Now was not the time for this to happen! He thought while rubbing his face.

Regardless of such, he kept looking. Maybe, just maybe he didn't notice them. His efforts didn't lead to anything but the bubbling feeling he was trying so desperately to stave off came closer and closer to tipping over.

"How could this happen again?" He mumbled burying his face in his hands. He wanted to curse his roommate's name (as the man most definitely had his key) but he couldn't muster up the anger right now. For a bit there was silence that followed a heavy sigh of his, till suddenly a voice spoke from behind him.

"You should keep better track of your belongings."

Kaveh quickly spun around to the sight of his roommate standing with both keys hanging in his hands. Gold and silver, both contrasting each other.

"Can't you announce your presence!" Kaveh quickly took his key, but not without complaint.

"You would get startled either way with how spaced out you were." Alhaitham pointed out. Kaveh knew he was right but that doesn't mean he would admit it.

"I would not!" Kaverh retorted, "Ugh! Just open the door, I don't want to argue with you right now."

Alhaitham actually obliged, something Kaveh says only happens once a year, but he was very relieved the Scribe listened this time. As Alhaitham walked up to the door to unlock it, Kaveh noticed something. A green hue laid across Alhaithams hand, slowly finding its way to cover him further.

This kind light was something he had never seen so close before. It was soft on his eyes, those eyes of his which couldn't seem to look away from the subtle green hues and shadows that made way on his roommates skin. It was almost like a painting, each hue carving the man to perfection. It made Kaveh want to grab a sketchbook and etch the sight down. He wanted to capture this moment in time and never forget it, maybe if he blinked hard enough his brain would take a picture.

It wasn't till a bit of his amazement died down that a realization hit Kaveh like a sumpter beast. The soft green hue was a reflection from the doors stained glass window.

He wasn't sure how to feel or what he should feel, but his chest felt constricted. His breathing would've stopped if he wasn't paying attention. Yet despite that he still wanted to look closer at that beautiful glow. Kaveh wanted to feel it on his fingertips with a warmth he hoped it contained. He wanted to relish in that light.

But he didn't, all he could allow himself to do was watch. Kaveh knew at this point he couldn't ignore how he felt about this house anymore (although he could keep avoiding his feelings for Alhaitham for the time being). There couldn't be a clearer sign that he viewed this temporary house as a home. Maybe he even wished he didn't have to leave.

Yet even while multiple different feelings ran through his mind and clouded any clear thoughts he could have. He still wanted to go inside.

So he did. He walked into the home following behind Alhaitham and then quickly went to his own room. Once he entered he immediately fell against the door, sliding to the ground with a thud.

This was something he couldn't ignore. Although Kaveh wished to forget about it so he didn't have to struggle with the overwhelming thoughts that turned his brain to mush. What he truly wanted even more than that was to see the light again. The way the green stained glass reflected against his roommates soft skin and ash hair elicited a feeling of want from him. The want to grab that light and keep it for himself, to touch it, to feel it, to feel safe within it.

Yet he knew he couldn't do that. This was but a temporary residence that he forced himself into.

His simple desire was not one that could ever be fulfilled.