poetry by yours truly

him

cut open my head since i dont need it anyway

reach inside and feel around until i find my brain

snap my cortex and my brain stem

cerebellum can go with them

wish my thoughts would leave my body

wish this feeling would just fade

the dark gray shroud inside my soul just refuses to go away

maybe its not my mind thats the problem

maybe its my heart

i rip and tear at veins and aeortas

but the feeling still will start

maybe its me thats the problem

maybe its my fault

if i was anyone else would i feel better?

thats something i constantly think about

if i could just change everything

from my personality to my thoughts

my mental scars and high set bars of expectations for myself

i would do it if i had the power

so when i looked in the mirror of my soul id no longer glower

reset my life to the start

but id lose the one who helps my heart

who keeps me happy

keeps me joyful

lets me feel like i am normal

who cares for me, who loves me so

i dont deserve it, i dont know

my thoughts are racing, like my heart

when he pulls me closer in his arms

with him i finally feel at peace,

i feel like its okay to stay as me.