Glass Breaks Too Easily. (Eyeless Jack x Reader Book 2)

Chapter Six.

"I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say to make him fucking change his mind,"

I paced in front of Jeff in my bedroom while panic and fear paced throughout my entire body. Every fiber of my being was tainted with the horrid mixture; ever since Toby had made his declaration, the feelings hadn't ceased.

Jeff shifted in his seat on my bed; I didn't know why I thought it would have ever been a good idea to tell Jeff anything about what Toby had said. It wasn't as if he would know what I could do, what I could say, to make my partner even hear me. He sighed and his gaze fell downcast to the floor while I continued in my pacing.

It had been days since I had even seen Toby more or less spoken to him. I couldn't bring myself to talk with him when I knew that his resolution was absolute. For all I knew, he could have left to find Jack by then, and that thought terrified me.

Finally, Jeff let out an exasperated sigh and gestured for me to sit next to him.

"You know damn well I'm not good with the whole communication thing. The last time Toby and I had a disagreement-well, I'm sure you remember what happened,"

He laughed, a bitter sound, as I sat beside him. I rested my head on his shoulder though I knew the contact would do very little to calm my nerves.

"But I can tell you that if I had a partner, and they were going off into those woods, alone, to find a cannibal, I'd be going too,"

I scoffed at the notion. How weak I'd look if I went running alongside my partner to plead for help from the man who left when I needed help the most. It wasn't something I was willing to do; I wasn't going to be shaken. 

That was, until I really let the depth of his seemingly baseless remark settle in. It wasn't about looking weak to Jack, at least it shouldn't have been. I needed to be there for Toby. If he were to find himself in some sort of trouble, especially with CIPA, he'd be completely alone and vulnerable to anything lurking in those woods.

Instantly, guilt settled in amongst everything else. I had put myself above my partner, my best friend, my entire fucking life.

I stood quickly, and in the instant it took for me to do so, I was able to see Jeff's smirk in my peripheral vision.

"Y'know, I haven't seen him in a while. But, if I had seen him, it definitely wouldn't have been in his room in as he was packing some sort of bag. If you were to look for him, I can almost promise you it wouldn't be there."

He wanted to save whatever was left of my pride, and I almost smiled at the notion as I rushed out of the room with a smirk tossed in his direction. Thankfully, my window was already open, so tossing every last little fiber of my pride out of it served as no problem. 

I knew, in the end, Toby just wanted what was best for me. At the same time, he knew that what was best was going to hurt so fucking bad. Was he willing to compromise safety for pain? He knew how I felt about everything, how tender those wounds could still be, and yet gave me no choice but to sew them up myself or bleed out. And I had decided nearly four years ago that I was no longer going to bleed for those who didn't even deserve tears. The decision to put Toby above myself was almost a little too easy, a little too instant.

I locked eyes with him as soon as I came into view.

I can handle this on my own.

I shook my head in the negative and entered his room. I glanced down at what occupied his hands; a duffel bag filled nearly to the brim with camping essentials. He was planning on leaving soon; much sooner than I had anticipated.

I didn't ask what you could or couldn't handle.

His eyes lingered on me for a moment, the emotions behind them as easy to read as a picture book. Breaking the intense contact, he passed right by me as he made his way to his closet where he pulled out another duffel bag that was already packed.

"Here,"

He handed me the bag by two sturdy handles which I graciously accepted. I let a sigh of relief escape my lips; he wasn't angry with me. At least, if he was, he wasn't dwelling on it enough to show it or talk about it.

"And I'd appreciate it if you'd stop pretending like you hate me or something. If I had another choice, (Name), don't you think I would have chosen it?"

I looked down at the packed bag dangling from both of my hands with disinterest; I couldn't meet his eyes. I could never hate him, in fact, I didn't think I could ever hate anyone. It wasn't in my blood and it could never be in my heart. I could be angry, but I could never be hateful. Perhaps that was my fatal flaw.

"Tobes..."

He sighed at the mention of his nickname, then suddenly zipped up his bag and slung it over his shoulder in one fluid movement. Smiling, he handed me one of his hatchets after holstering his second twin one in the carrier on his belt.

I pushed it back toward him a bit; they had played such a huge, influential role throughout all of his life. I couldn't just simply wield it.

You will simply wield it. It doesn't matter if it was a part of my life when my entire life is standing, hmm, maybe six or seven inches away from me. Take the damn hatchet before I change my mind and leave you here.

He thrusted the hatchet into my arms and promptly began his descent down the stairs. It only took that one moment. One single, fleeting moment to know I was in danger.

This danger was not physical. This danger was not ominous, wasn't something I should really have to fear. But I did.

Toby didn't give me butterflies as others before him had. He didn't give me the feeling of falling from the sky and landing on soft, pillowy clouds on my way down.

Toby gave me sleeping moths who's antennae tickled me, made me want to laugh when I was so incredibly opposed to feeling anything other than complete depression. He gave me soft Maple leaves falling atop my head as I laid in soft, autumn grass. He gave me the pure, uninterrupted scent of pine mixed with the earthly, intoxicating aroma of bark on the trees. Perhaps the strangest part about Toby was that even though he could see how I felt, he could feel how I felt straight from the source, he never took the steps to act on it.

And then, all at once I knew why he wanted to me to come along with him. I knew why he had packed a second bag for me, why he hadn't held a grudge over the fight when normally, he would have. 

Toby wanted to see how I'd react when faced with Jack again to see how he should proceed with my feelings.

And if I was honest...so did I.

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Shorter chapter this time, but there is a longer one coming Tuesday or Wednesday. My new job likes to give its employees 30 hours of overtime :) Why do I have to be an adult? Why can't I just live in a little cottage and grow my own food and frolick with fae and have 10 cats? I'm yearning for a life I cannot attain :(

This chapter hurt my heart a little bit :(

Next chapter we have a special guest appearing also! He was here earlier in the book, but... He was a lil' traumatized

Tell me if there's typos because I physically cannot proofread, I'm going to bed immediately !