I'm addicted to making these
Blue: Croissants: dropped
Red: Road: works ahead
Yellow: BBQ sauce: on my titties
Green: Shavacado: fre
Orange: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead
Purple:
Purple, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.
Blue: Dammit, Red!
Red: What?! It wasn’t me!
Blue: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Yellow!
Yellow: Not me either.
Blue: Oh...Then who set the house on fire?
Green: *whistles*
(green no...)
Blue: Can I be frank with you guys?
Red: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.
Yellow: Can I still be Yellow?
Green: Shh, let Frank speak.
Green: Are you an ‘arr’ pirate, or a ‘yo ho ho’ pirate?
Red: I’m a ‘I’m not paying $600 for photoshop’ pirate.
Green: *Gets down on one knee*
Red: Oh my god, it’s finally happening.
Green: *Falls over*
Red: The poison is kicking in.
*Purple and Yellow are doing something absurdly dangerous*
Purple: I think Houdini did something like this once! Why, if I recall correctly, he was out of the hospital in no time!
Yellow, deadpan: Well that's encouraging.
Purple: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside
Yellow:
Yellow: Purple, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn...
Purple: *Sips coffee from bowl*
Purple: Yellow... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?
Yellow: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.
Purple:
Purple: I wrote sanitize, Yellow.
Purple, tending to Yellow's wounds: How would you rate your pain?
Yellow: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.
Cyan: They stole from me first!
Magenta: Mhm.
Cyan: Stole my heart...
Yellow: It is still illegal to commit murder.
Cyan: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?
Magenta: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.
Yellow: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.
Magenta: Good thinking.
Cyan: We need a distraction.
Magenta: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?
Yellow, whispering: My time has come
(This is canon because I said so)
Cyan: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?
Magenta: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-
Yellow: Smad.
Cyan: We need to get through this locked door. Magenta, give me your credit card.
Magenta: Here.
Cyan, pocketing it: Thanks. Yellow, kick down the door
Blue: While I’m gone, Purple, you’re in charge.
Purple: Yes!!!
Blue, whispering: Yellow, you’re secretly in charge.
Yellow: Obviously
*Blue and Purple sitting in jail together*
Purple: So who should we call?
Blue: I’d call Yellow, but I feel safer in jail
Blue: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it
Purple: Just rip the bandage off.
Blue: It’s Yellow.
Purple: Put the bandage back on.
*The group is getting into the car*
Blue: I’m driving.
Purple, out of view: Shotgun!
Yellow, turning to face Purple: Aww! But you had it on the way here-
Everyone except Purple: WOAH-
Purple, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*
Blue: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?
Purple: I'm a knife.
Yellow, from across the room: They're the little spoon
Blue: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?
Red: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Yellow?
Yellow: Probably “road work ahead”.
Green: I speak many languages, and this is none of them
Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.
Blue: Shit.
Red: Wait, three?
Cop: Yeah?
Yellow: OH MY GOD GREEN FELL OFF!!!
Store Worker: Would a Mx. Orange please come to the front desk?
Orange, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?
Store Worker: points to Red and Yellow
Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?
Red and Yellow, simultaneously: We got lost :(
Orange: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-
Orange: What time is it?
Red: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out
Red: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*
Yellow: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING
Red: It’s 2 am
Orange, to Red: My life is in the hands of an idiot!
Red, motioning to themself and Yellow: No no no no no, TWO idiots!
Orange: What do you think Red will do for a distraction?
Yellow: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.
*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*
Yellow: ... or they could do that
Orange, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!
Red, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids
Yellow: what the fuck are you guys doing?
Orange: playing systemic oppression
Orange, texting Red: Red! Help I’m being kidnapped
Red: Where are you?
Orange: I’m with some strange person. In a car. Help.
Red: I’ll call Yellow.
Yellow, answering their phone: Y’ello?
Red: Where’s Orange? They texted me that they were being kidnapped.
Yellow: Orange? Whaddya mean, they're right next to me-
Red:
Yellow: I’ll call you back. *hangs up*
Yellow: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN’T THAT BAD!
Orange: WHO ARE YOU?!
(This one's my favorite)
Orange: Hey Red,
Red: Yes?
Orange: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?
Red:
Red: Where’s Yellow?
(Oh no...)
