Sparks ↣ bronnor

2.0

A/N: So apparently when i'm sick I write a lot?? I just had some inspiration so yeah.

Dear whoever,

It's Brad again...

So my friend who made me write these letters told me that I should tell you a little more about myself and give you some back ground information.

So I guess I'll start with telling you about Olivia,

She's the friend who made me do this. She has beautiful green eyes and light brown hair with freckles spread across her face.

Frankly enough I think she's absolutely beautiful,

So does her girlfriend. Olivia has been dating Elizabeth for a year now and they're amazing together. Liz has dark chocolate brown eyes and black hair and every time she looks at Olivia her face lits up and she looks so happy.

A kind of happy I want to be one day,

I sometimes wonder about who I'm gonna end up with later, what will she look like? Have I met her yet?

It's something I think about every time I see Olivia and Liz together.

I think I associate myself with them because they're genuinely so happy. That's something I needed around me when I first met Olivia.

I met Olivia just about a year ago, I just came from my friend *who's name was Robert, long story short. He wasn't happy, as I said I associated myself a lot with depressed people, Robert was one of those people, I hope he's happy wherever he is now. I still miss him every day* and I saw Olivia, and she was jumping and looking happy and I was standing there with tear stained eyes because I had just heard the most devastating news ever. And I looked at her and I smiled for a second.

And she turned around and looked at me and stopped jumping around and looked at me and her smile vanished.

And even though Olivia brings a lot of happiness into my life she's also my rock. She's there for me whenever I'm doubting myself again or when everything seems grey.

She's there and I hope that one day she'll realise how much I love her for that.

Oh she just came skipping in my room and told me to tell you about me in particular.

So yeah I just finished college and I've moved out on my own as of last week. Olivia and Liz helped me move in to this little apartment above a coffee shop.

It's not much but it's home, and it's great in the morning because I can quickly grab some coffee before heading out to look for jobs.

I hate looking for jobs, it makes me feel so old and it just gets me nervous at the second.

I don't even know what it is, I guess I'm just afraid of growing up.

I feel so suffocated.

If you'd look at me you wouldn't really know what's going on in my head.

I mean I just look like a normal guy, people always thought I was younger than I am, that's been that way ever since I was little.

I'm 19 and have curly brown tousled hair with a pair of brown eyes to go with it.

As far as my head,

Everything's always hurting and my thoughts go from one place to another, always making sure to think about the worst things I can come up with.

Like right now, mom is coming over tomorrow and I'm thinking about what we will talk about.

She will probably ask about how the job searching is going and if I found a girlfriend yet and I can only assume how disappointed she will be with me because I clearly don't have my life together yet.

Maybe I never will, what if I never find a job? What if I end up alone...See what I mean, my brain is doing it again.

Everything hurts.

I should probably go and have some coffee to calm myself down.

Reading a book also usually helps.

I hope you're not annoyed yet, maybe by now you'll have stopped reading this and I'm speaking to no one in general again.

I don't know, I should really try to stop these thoughts sometimes.

-Bradley