lana del rey imagines

ꨄ︎ so alone on a friday night ꨄ︎

The incessant buzzing of your phone wakes you up.

Completely asleep, disoriented, and quite pissed off, you look for it between the sheets. You slide the green button to the side, taking the call without bothering to see who it is.

"What?"

"Excuse me?" a soft, amused voice says from the other end of the line. You widen your eyes in shock, your senses returning to normal.

"Shit. I'm sorry, Lana."

To your relief, she giggles. "You are forgiven, just this once though."

That makes you outline a half smile while rubbing your eyes. How much have you slept? It feels like forever. And still it's not enough. Because a yawn escapes from your mouth, and your desire to close your eyes again and turn off the world is immense.

You're so tired, that's it. Of everything.

"I wasn't having fun."

"What- What do you mean?" You ask confused, thinking you haven't heard whatever Lana has told you.

"It's no fun going out without you, you know. Are you feeling better, by the way?"

This is one of the things you hate, lying to her. Lying to other people is easy, it doesn't affect you at all, but lying to Lana... Literally the only person you can be yourself around but refuse to fall apart with.

I don't think I can go out with you tonight, I have a heavy headache, you told her a few hours ago. Sure, you suffer from those more times than you'd like, but today was a lie.

It's your heart that hurts. Or your soul. Or some shit like that.

And she's in such a happy place lately, you don't want to ruin that.

"Kinda. But I will be, don't worry."

"Ha, impossible. I always worry, especially about you."

If only you could cry, you'd probably be weeping by now. But numbness has become your best friend, your faithful ally. Maybe that's a good thing. Feeling so much hurts.

At your lack of response, Lana continues.

"Anyway, I'm at your door. I brought pizza."

Before you can process what she says, your doorbell rings repeatedly.

No way.

There's a big, bright smile on Lana's face as soon as you open the front door. In her eyes is that sparkle of mischief that characterizes her when she does something you weren't expecting.

And hell, you weren't expecting her to give up a good time dancing and flirting with strangers to be with you.

"Would you be my date for tonight?" She jokes, causing your heart to skip a beat.

Yes, you have feelings for Lana, but she'll never know. You've been excellent at hiding it for the last few years and your friendship is worth gold to you, you would never dare to tear it to shreds.

"I don't really have a chance, do I?"

"Absolutely nope."

Good, because you would never decline such a thing either way.

From the moment you received her, Lana knew something was wrong. That you barely smiled back at her was a further indicator aside from the sadness you radiate. She has noticed it for weeks, but thought it was just fatigue due to work and studies. So somehow she brushed it off, but not entirely. Her worries have only magnified since you started canceling plans, ignoring texts, talking less.