The Blood Book- Monologues

Death

Scared?

I'm not scared of dying. 

Dying is inescapable, it happens to everyone. It's bound to happen to me, whether it is natural, or some freak accident. I'm not scared of dying in my sleep, or being stabbed ten times and feeling the life drain out of me. Sure, there'll be pain, and fear, and suffering in the moment,  but after that, there's nothing.

You're dead. 

Nothing you can do can change, your actions don't matter, you're just... floating. 

My death was never the problem, I'm simply there, and I'm not. I don't have to deal with grieving, with losing someone I cared so much about, or the emotion. 

I'm scared of losing the people I love. 

I'm scared of getting the call that they're gone. I'm scared that I'll never talk to them, or hear their voice, or see them smile.  I'm scared of having to go about my life acting like nothing is wrong when that piece of me is missing. 

So call me selfish.

Call me delusional. 

But it's terrifying.