The Beauty and the Idiot

Chapter III

"Well, that's it for the comically huge rubber duck. What about the army in our bedroom?"

"No clues, Lika..."

The door is shaking crazier than before.

"Huh."

Lika stands next to me, with a look of 'Well shit'.

"Are those ducks sentient or something...?"

"Dunno. Could be."

"Oh my god..."

This is how I'm going to die. Drowning in a sea of malicious rubber ducks. At least we got rid of the comically huge one, that's... Something, I guess.

"Sooo... Plans on how to get rid of the army?"

"I think... At this point. We just sell this flat and look for a new home."

"Oh, come on. Be a bit more optimistic, Ton! We surely get rid of those ducks... Somehow."

"You're just trying to comfort me with lies, it won't work."

"Gee, it'll work."

Lika walks up to the door. She stands in front of it for a while, before slightly touching the handle.

"Okay, look, the situation isn't that bad-"

And in a blink of an eye, the door bursts open. A wave of two million rubber ducks crush us two, filling the whole flat. The sheer mass of the plastic and the limited vision makes it hard to get on the surface.

I barely manage to stick my head out to get some air. Lika sits on top of a wardrobe, looking down at me.

"There you are!"

"What have you done?!"

"Nothing! I only touched the handle."

"Look at all of this! HOW?!"

"Okay, calm down-"

But another wave of ducks drags me down into the deep depths of duckhell. Screaming brings nothing, the ducks don't let a single voice reach the surface. I'm getting crushed by cute rubber ducks, why is my life like this?

Why is any of this happening in the first place?! The bacon stripes as clouds, the birds flying upside down, and what's up with all of those chairs?!

I just want to wake up from this dream. All of it is a bad nightmare, right? None of this is real...

Right before I thought I'd be done for, I feel someone grabbing my arm and yanks me out of the sea onto land. Well... The wardrobe, actually.

"There!"

Finally able to breathe, I just lay there, breathing heavily. Let's just accept the fact that the flat is done for, and we need to get the fuck out of here. Those ducks are evil. Those ducks want pain and suffering. It's like all of them are staring at us, it's fucking creepy. I want to go home, but my flat doesn't feel like home any more at this point.

"See it on the bright side! We now can swim in a sea of rubber ducks."

A simple glare is enough to change her mind.

"... Okay, the situation is bad, I admit. We can still change it."

"How?!"

"... Good question..."

My head hits the ground. I'm at my limit at this point, sighing in defeat.

Lika pulls out her phone and types in something into... DuckDuckGo? Oh, my fucking god. She types in "Wikihow to remove rubber ducks"