*angst, depictions of grief and depression
swan song - Victoria Canal
18 September, 2019
Matty was right. Everything was okay. Until it wasn't, and Este got the call.
She dropped everything to catch a plane to London. A train would be too slow. She had to be with her family. The two weeks she spent there felt like some of the longest weeks of her life.
There wasn't a moment that the universe let her mind rest—it was a constant buzz of anger, sadness, release. She was mad that bad things happened to good people. Sad that there was so little time left. And eventually, two Mondays later, it happened. Este thought that when it did, her emotions would peak and then she'd be on the comedown—slowly, she guessed. But it wasn't. Every day felt like the worst of what was to come. And the worst kept coming.
The clothes draped on her body remained the same for too long. Even their musty stench that grew as time passed couldn't inspire her to change, so Cate had to force her out of them. She'd been helpful through those horrid weeks, constantly checking up on her best friend, even coming down to London a couple of times to take Este's mind off of things and attempt to bring her back down to earth.
Two days after the dreaded Monday, they came back home to Manchester to grab some more of their things. Enough to last them through the weekend and however long Este felt she would need to stay. Work was a worry, but it didn't matter to her as much as it probably should have.
After helping her flatmate pack another bag and essentially petting her head to sleep, Cate considered how intensely Este's life had been put on hold to make room for her grief. There was no time to make new memories when she was all consumed with trying to cling to the ones with Florencia. Este was terrified of the reality that one day she'd struggle to remember them as brightly as they once were.
Cate thought about the increasing number displayed in the red notification bubble at the corner of her Messages app, and the people waiting to hear from her. The plans Este must have had, and their inevitable rain-checks. That's when Matty came to mind. She decided that sending him a text would aid in planning their accommodations back in London, in case of some small chance that he'd have time to be there for the rites.
Matty Healy (famous)
Yesterday at 20:50 PM
hey. i thought i'd let you know that the funeral is on saturday morning. wasn't sure if este invited you out but i know she'd want you there
i also have no idea where in the world you even are rn
so if you can't make it then don't worry
Today at 06:04 AM
Funeral????
I haven't heard from her since this past Saturday
What's going on
oh my god. she didn't tell you
i'm so sorry you had to find out this way and that it isn't coming from este but her nan passed away on monday.
Shit
I don't know what to say, I'm so sorry
Can I ask what happened?
YOU ARE READING
Then Because She Goes - Matty Healy
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