Bound By Secrets

Callie (6)

My heart is pounding, vision blurring and chest heaving with rough, heavy breaths. My mind is swirling whilst I power walk through the corridors trying to find the way to Connor and Callum's mechanics class whilst also trying not to have a panic attack. My hands are shaking profusely, and my legs feel like jelly, as panic soars through my body. It's just a nickname, I shouldn't be this overwhelmed with panic and fear just because of that one little word but because of the events from this morning it was all too fresh. As soon as 'sweetheart' left Brad's lips, my body went stone cold and my mind played replays of this morning, being sat at the dining room table with Fraser's rough hands all over me and inside me, my father's smug face staring at me and my eldest brother watching with delight and touching himself as the twins sat there trying to block out everything that was happening. It was all too much and now I just need to breathe. I need calmness and the twins are the only ones that can help. I slump against a row of lockers, tucking my knees up to my chest and yanking my phone out of my back pocket before sliding to the floor. It takes a few tries to successfully unlock my phone due to my teary eyes, but once it's unlocked, I find Callum's contact instantly and press call. I greedily gulp down deep a lungful of air to try and calm myself enough to talk.

"Little C?" He answers, sounding cautious, probably wondering why I'm calling him shortly into our first lessons. A sob escapes me and then I hear him curse before hearing the muffled sound of chairs scraping and then footsteps moving. "Where are you Callie? Just tell us where." He says calmly. I manage to rush out the word 'lockers' before I'm gasping for air again. I rest my head on my knees, squeezing my eyes tightly shut and slowly counting to 10in my head multiple times and trying to slow my breathing. I hear pounding footsteps and then I feel two sets of almost identical arms enveloping me from either side, Callum softly rubs my back whilst Connor counts out loud with me until my breathing calms and my body stops shaking. Connor lets out a relieved sigh and then loosens his hold on me, but Callum stays with me tightly wrapped in his embrace

"I'm sorry, I don't even know what happened... I'm so sorry!" I tell them quickly, taking a deep breath mid way due to the aftermath of crying and panic. "It was just a stupid name and it was all still fresh and my mind just went haywire." I mutter before wiping my wet cheeks on the sleeves of my top. Callum loosens his hold on me and nudges my arm so that I look his way. His brows are furrowed slightly whilst his gaze flits over my face, looking for anything that might be wrong.

"What do you mean about a stupid name?" Connor asks gruffly from behind me, I shake my head slightly because I know they're both going to build a mountain out of a mole hole with this one.

"I was in class with Nate..." Connor lets out a sound of disgust so I whack him before continuing, "we were talking and then Brad came and sat down with us, he said hi to me, but... he uh, he called me sweetheart and I just kinda froze and then freaked and ran." I tell them. Callum squeezes my arm but stays silent whilst Connor glares down the hallway all menacing and broody. He lets out a deep grumbling growl before lifting himself off of the floor and prowling off down the hallway, back towards where my class is.

"Oh shit, fuck, shit!" Callum and I quickly jump up off the floor and race after the grumpy psycho. "Connor, stop!" I shout out, getting closer to him as he gets closer to the corner just before my class, the one that I ran around earlier, laughing and happy like I haven't been in a while. I now realise that in my panicked state I really didn't make it that far from my class.

"Connor for god sake, stop!" I shout louder, he stops walking and turns on the spot to glare at me and Callum as we continue to jog towards him. As we reach him I grab his arm and tug him back the way we came to slightly increase the distance between him and my classroom. "I'm fine, you can't go in there and have one of your tantrums because someone called me a name and it triggered me. It wasn't his fault. These things are bound to happen, and we all have to learn to deal with them for now. I want friends, I want to feel normal for the short period of time that we're away from that hellhole and I will learn to be okay with things like people calling me sweetheart. I may get panicked sometimes but I just needed you to just calm me down, I don't need you to go all alpha male on the guy who said something innocently. No one is to know that calling me that is gonna set me into a panic and we can't afford for anyone to know that either so calm the fuck down!" I take a deep breath after my rambling rant and stare up at Connor, he nods his head before turning and stomping back off, assumingly back to his class to relieve some of his anger on a car or something.