Sell Some Lives

Paris in the Belle Époque

There was a boutique at 7 Rue de la Paix, more sophisticated than the other shops in the town, much more fancy than any shop I'd ever seen. It had a double front and a stylish inscription on the glass door. Cartier.

"This shop mostly sells perfumes, silks, jewels, furs, hats, and lingerie. But also some uniforms. We need to buy you some clothes for the suffrage meeting too, Tali." Mrs Guillaume was going to be paying. Apparently I'd been sold to her because the police was after Mr Buscarino and he couldn't drag me down with him.

I was to live with Mrs Guillaume from now on.

She gave me a letter from him the day I took my test.

"But i just saw him this morning! He seemed... ok he seemed sad, but that was just because i was growing up and going to be away for almost the whole day... He didn't even say goodbye properly. Why didn't he tell me about the pimping? I knew he was a bit dodgy but..." I'd raged.

"I really don't understand the relationship you two had Tali. He was a father figure to you and yet he used you for money... if you ask me this is the only good thing he's ever done for you. Did you want to go down with him? Prison is no place for a teenager."

"Is he going to prison for ever?" 

"Just read the letter and you'll see."

Dear Tali,

I'll tell you one awful thing about me... I am never going to be a good person.

Now I'll tell you one awful thing about my parents—their greatest failure as parents—was that they abandoned me in a hospital when I was ten.

I had cholera and they thought I was going to die. They left me to suffer in hospital while they did a moonlit flight, took everything and ran away from our home...

 and I never saw them again. It hurt so much being abandoned... unwanted. You and I are very similar in that respect.

By then , of course, I was old enough to fend for myself and already working in Mr. Harvey's factory.

He is a child molester as you know. He used to molest me and a few of my friends. My parents knew and encouraged me to keep working for him until I was at least sixteen.

So that's what I did.

At sixteen I started dressing in men's clothes and I cut off all my hair and I practiced talking in a deeper voice. I've always looked very masculine and I felt masculine and I ...

Anyway so I started going by a different name and I resigned from the factory and moved away so people would forget about me...

That's what I want you to do now. I want you to forget I ever existed.

Mrs Guillaume is your legal guardian now.

I can't be anymore because I'm in trouble with the police. Pandering, whoremastering, etc. I ain't going to prison for three years again no ma'am. Don't worry I'll run far away. But I'll come back one day and look for you at the abortionist's house, ok? Maybe in a few years... during the spring. 

Anyway.

Remember I'm leaving for you. So you would be free. I'm not good enough to be your dad, T.

You will do sooo well in life without me. Your life might be better than the one I had. You'll be successful. 

Love Mr. Buscarino

P.S. If I never see you again I didn't abandon you, I promise.

I don't know why I fainted. It might have been the heavy feeling in my heart.