SHANNON
Luca and I have a very close friendship during our university days. Lagi niya akong pinipili out of all the others who wanted to be with her in every project. Nagkikita kami sa labas ng campus noon, pumupunta sa iba't-ibang lugar para lang makakuha ng bagong ideas and inspiration. The Luca I knew is a good company, she is considerate, sensitive and have a good humor. With all these pleasing personality of her I don't know what exactly went wrong.
Naging dependent ako sa kaniya. I find her easy to confide my problems and weaknesses which is pinagsisisihan ko sa puntong dumating na ginamit niya iyon sa akin.
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"Ano ba Luca?!" Inis kong sinamaan ng tingin ang babaeng nakangisi at may hawak na camera.
"You look beautiful, Shan"
During this time, she collected stolen pictures of me. Hindi ko siya sinusuway sa tuwing ginagawa niya iyon dahil magaling naman siyang photographer. Initially, it didn't strike me as strange; I thought it was something friends commonly did. In fact, I started drawing portraits of her as well. It was a beautiful way for us to capture each other's personalities through art.
Habang tumatagal kaming magkasama at malapit sa pagtatapos ng aming project, I began developing romantic feelings for Luca.
Noong una akala ko tulad lang ito ng iba, I tried to deny them and considered it mere idolization. Pero habang tumatagal lahat ng nararamdaman ko para sa kaniya ay lalo pang lumalim.
"Hey! What's the problem? Why are you acting like this Shannon? Tell me?"
Sigaw ni Luca habang hinahabol ako papalabas ng Art Studio. I held my breath and swear na hindi siya pansinin. Naiinis ako sa pag-eentertain niya sa mga freshmen kanina na gustong magpaturo slash flirt. Hindi ko na nakayanan pa kaya umalis ako.
Why?
'Cause I found myself feeling jealous whenever she interacted with others
Natural lang ba 'to?
I don't know but they said friendships sometimes do have this kind of feeling
Pero bakit pagdating sa kaniya hindi ko masabi kung nagseselos ako bilang kaibigan?
I faced her while crying, she look stunned pero lumapit pa rin siya sa akin at niyakap ako. She held my head up and brush off those tears.
"Why are you crying?"
Can I?
Do I have the courage to finally tell her?
"I am jealous Luca"
Luca was popular among both sexes, but she seemed to have a stronger appeal to females due to her cool aura and captivating personality. Akala ko hindi ako matutulad sa iba na magkakagusto sa kaniya dahil ni minsan hindi naisip magkagusto sa kapwa ko babae.
On the day of the project's deadline, when we both presented our work, I received recognition from others. I felt overwhelmed and a sense of belonging. Finally may mga tao na rin na nakaappreciate sa mga ginagawa kong effort. However, Luca appeared unfazed by it all, which bothered me greatly. My inferiority complex intensified, as it seemed that what mattered so much to me was insignificant to her.
Kaya naman I decided to ignore her pero hindi ko nakayanan iyon ng matagal. I found myself trying to be close to her again, although my behavior displayed a negative pattern of push and pull. Luca eventually confronted me, asking what had happened and if I was okay.
