Topping the Enemy (Werewolf Story)

Chapter 13: Whataya Want from Me

Harry

I am at a loss.

At first, I was so certain of my decision to reject my mate and I still am. But Spencer had left my head spinning after he made some valid points.

I do have every reason to reject my mate.

I can and should feel fine about my decision, as long as I make it for myself. Like Spencer said, I shouldn't make this decision about anyone else but me.

Though it pains me deeply, I have to make sure I am doing what is best for my sake. Nobody else.

That being said, I am still grieving over the incredible loss my family and pack has suffered. But that will probably never go away, they will always be missed.

Too many people are gone. Not only family members, but people I grew up with. From my favorite pack house cook to the young warrior I secretly wished I was mated to - even though he was straight. Why do we always fall for the straight guy?

Anyway, the point is moot. The decision has been made and there is nothing that can be done about it now.

Though sometimes I don't know whether I'm crying over the loss of the fallen members or my mating that was denied.

Truth is now that I had some days to think about it, it's more confusing than ever to me. I know deep down I made the right decision, but the doubt lingers when I am alone at night.

Of course, one could argue that I may just be feeling lonely. Sure, that is not entirely wrong. But I am a werewolf, after all.

I can drown out the loneliness with the occasional human back in college - or even right here in town. But that doesn't change the fact that one day college is going to end.

Am I to spend the rest of my life mateless and alone? Or am I to make a living with some human that can never know my true identity?

Perhaps move to a larger city and make my living amongst the human population, dating as humans do. I could find a chosen partner.

So many decisions floating around my mind. Well, now that I definitely CANNOT succeed my father as the next Alpha of our pack, at least there is one less decision to make.

Now I feel bad for my younger sibling who has to bear this burden. My whole family is in shambles, truthfully. Not one of us remained unscathed from this blood feud with the Regency Falls pack.

One way or another, this war will scar us for the rest of our lives. All there is left for us is to move on somehow, rebuild our pack.

"Good morning, family." I greeted my parents and siblings inside the dining room of the pack house.

"Good morning, Harry. How are you doing?" Mom asked me in a concerned tone.

"A little confused, to be honest. I have no idea what to do next." I replied, sincerely.

Both my parents gave me a poignant look, pitying me.

"I'm sure everything is gonna seem clearer with time. You probably need some perspective." She argued, smiling weakly at me.

"You should count your blessings to be rid of those fucking Barnetts." Aaron chimed in a sour tone.

"Watch your language, Aaron! Respect your family present!" Mom reprimanded him, aggravated. If nothing else, there are children present and they don't need to be exposed to this.

"We will never be rid of them. Now that they have won the war, we are obligated to establish several partnerships between our two packs." Dad stated, frowning his eyebrows in annoyance.