love letters | soap mactavish ✓

letter 22

Hi there, Johnny!

It's good to know that you don't like him. But guess who just became single? Me, haha.

It feels a little weird to write this to you, but since we know each other for so long, I think I can tell you this. For a while now I don't think we worked like we needed to with Cam. And he was a very jealous man from the start, and I found that kind of hot, y'know? Like he wanted to preserve me for only himself, like he wanted to shelter me. But it started to get controlling in the past few months and he wasn't happy about the fact I still hold you close to my heart.

We had a nasty fight about a lot of things at once when he revealed that he got rid of at least one of your letters, and I never got to read that. Or multiple ones, who knows at this point. I was so mad. And he saw how upset I was and he gave me an ultimatum: it's him or you.

I'm single now, but at least I still have my best friend.

It's just... I'm so sorry. For keeping my letters shorter, because I knew if it was too long he would argue about it. He wanted to read them, but when I told him it was a private thing he didn't speak to me for days. But now I can talk freely with you!

But I feel so stupid for letting him treat me like that for so long. I loved him and trusted him, and he just got jealous of every man that looked at me, he didn't want me to talk to you, didn't even want me to go to Greece in case I planned on cheating on him. It's ridiculous! And for a long time, I thought I was the problem, but Harper had a half an hour-long screaming fit with me about 'it's not my fault' and 'he's a complete idiot'.

And I just know you're angry. Harper was livid when I told her about the things I just did to you, and so much more but I'm not ready to write them down. It was hard enough to talk about them, and I think it's best if I keep this sweet and short so Cam can live another day. And I can finally meet you! Which help with the whole situation.

Just tell me when you're near England and I'll pick you up from the airport or something.

But Harper is currently screaming her head off for me to 'hurry the fuck up or she'll leave my bony ass', because she insisted on going clubbing tonight. She thinks getting drunk will totally make me forget about men in general. But I don't want to forget you.

I wish you a fast recovery, I know how hard it can be. It's so good to hear from you, even if things are not looking the best for either of us.

I'll write you soon again.

Yours truly,

Tana