The Things I Lost In The Desert

Chapter 11 - The Logical Decision

[Raheem]

"Maybe you should come over?" I suggested.

Her giggle was soft and dismissive. "You say that like you are three doors down. Besides, your father would be furious if He knew we were in the United States."

Diplomatic relations between our state and the USA were not great. But being far from Rome was out of the question, especially after discovering the Taj Mayt knew about her.

Even if her life wasn't under threat, after finding out about her pregnancy, I doubt there would be anything that would keep me away from her.

"Not as furious as when he finds out I am planning to marry an American." I joked to lighten the mood.

This time she gave a genuine laugh. "Touché Amir, touché."

After that her silence on the other end was so loud, I could hear every step I made on the thick carpeted floor of my hotel room. I gripped the phone tighter and stopped pacing the room like a caged animal.

I was quickly growing impatient, although she had listened to my plan to marry Rome, she didn't really offer an opinion. "Well? Are you not going to say anything?"

She released a soft sigh. "I fear you may not like what I have to say, my prince."

"Sarika..." I warned impatiently. This was not the time to play royal protocol games. I didn't need the king's wife, I needed a friend and Sarika has proven plenty of times to be the perfect ear when one needed sound advice. And right now, I needed someone to tell me I was making the right choice.

She released a heavy sigh. "I do not see this going down very well, your parents aside, the state will be in an uproar. She's a..." She took a moment to search for the right words but fell short. "A foreigner."

"So were you." I harshly reminded her, not knowing where the sudden urge to defend Rome came from.

"That's different Raheem. I was conditioned and modelled to be your brother's wife before I could form a conscious thought of my own. Your people had years to grow accustomed to me, this...this marriage is too sudden. This poor woman you've put in an impossible position is so far removed from our world, our customs, no one is going to believe you simply fell in love with her." She said the last part like it was a ridiculous plot from a fairytale story and not the fib that I was going to feed the press.

I sank into the plush sofa of my presidential suite. The best America could offer didn't come close to what I was used to back home. "We have to make them believe it." I said with determination.

"This is nonsensical Amir, what is the rush?"

"She is pregnant Sarika." I said with a sigh. The threat to her life made me extremely cautious of what I shared about her but I knew Sarika would not understand unless I told her the whole truth.

I held my breath, waiting for a reaction. Whatever it was, would 100 per cent be warranted. As a prince, I could not afford the luxury to just accidentally knock someone up but given the very few people in our family in line for the throne, I could not just let it 'go' either. There was a light shuffle on her end and I imagined her placing the phone on her other ear so she could elegantly drape the fabric of her saree over her shoulder.

"I see." That was all she said when the silence became unbearable. This was a touchy subject for her, over the years she had become skilled at schooling her features whenever someone breached the topic of children and pregnancy but I knew her well enough to know, that it never got any easier for her. Hell, I think one of the reasons why she had grown comfortable around me was because I was the only person not hellbent on what was happening in her womb.

"You want to legitimize the child as your successor." She said slowly, as if she was putting into place the final piece of a puzzle.

"I know this sounds absurd, but it is the only way to make sure the crown remains in the family." Again, she responded with silence. It was only when I allowed the meaning of my words to settle did I realised what I had implied. The 'only way', suggested that she was no longer a childbearing option.

"Sarika I did not mean-"

"So your solution is to force the poor woman to marry you." Her interjection was venomous, like a snake that had snapped around to bite the person who had trampled on it. I understand this was a sore subject but her accusation was unfair and in true sibling style I retaliated.

"I am not forcing her to do anything, this is mutually beneficial." I snarled in defence. I would never force anyone to do anything, if anything I am saving her life! I could not tell Sarika that though, because I did not want her to know that the Taj Mayt knew about this pregnancy. I could not decide if that was because I was protecting Rome or because I felt guilty that it was my fault she was in this mess, to begin with.

"Of course." She said sarcastically through a tight smile. "You get your precious baby-breeding machine and she gets her entire world put on its head. Sounds very beneficial to me."

"Your ire is misplaced Sarika, I am doing the right thing here!"

"The right thing would have been to tell her the truth from the get-go!" The tone of her voice matched mine. "You selfishly wanted to pretend for a night you were a normal guy, well news flash Amir, You. Are. Not. If you, a man who has been born into this lifestyle, only knows this lifestyle, feel like it can be suffocating imagine what it would be like for her! If you were honest with her, she could have made a choice but because you chose to omit extremely important information about yourself, she has unknowingly tied herself to something so..."

Her words died off as if her rant had run out of battery. I felt a tight squeeze around my heart as empathy washed over me. I had never asked Sarika what it was like to transition into the role of the heir's wife because from where I was standing she was perfect at it. 

I should have known better, no one alive carries a burden as well as Sarika does. I only ever saw the cracks of her polished persona when she was asked about children, but even then, she always recovered graciously.

"What if the Taj Mayt catch wind of this? Her life would be in danger Raheem." She whispered so quietly I had to clutch the phone tighter to my ear. My jaw clenched as something in my chest forced me not to confirm Sarika's fear.

"This is why I have to marry her as soon as possible. We have to do this." I emphasized how important this marriage is.

"Oh my God..." She sounded exasperated and I knew she was pacing whatever room she was in. "You don't understand what you are making her do."

"Sarika, forgive me if I have come off as dismissive but-"

"I know you do not mean to Amir, but as a man, you do not understand." Her breathing was rapid as if she was calming herself down. By the downward inflection of the last word, I knew she had more to say so I let the silence stretch on until she was ready to speak again

When she spoke again, her tone had returned to normal as she unwillingly admitted that a marriage of convenience may be the best course of action. "Raheem, she is doing you a huge favour by having this baby let alone marrying you. The least you can do is agree to her conditions, no matter how ridiculous they are. Everything is going to change for her and it's going to happen while her body is going through the most strenuous process. I know a marriage in name is not what you wanted for yourself but given what she's agreed to do for you? You better make sure you are the best-goddammed husband this world has ever seen."

I let out a loaded breath when I finally got what I needed from this conversation. Confirmation that marrying Rome was the logical decision.