Big, Mean, Loving- a Shrek x Jasper fanfic

Chapter 1: Love At First Fight

Shrek was laying down in his swamp, taking a mud bath. He was being nagged by Fiona, his hot girlfriend. Sometimes, Shrek didn't like being treated like a boyfriend who has to fix everything; he wanted to be apart of a happy couple who didn't do any work and could just lay in his swamp all day. But, either way, today Shrek had to go to his high school, Tumblr High, like everyday. He kissed his girlfriend a goodbye and went to his school, where Shrek was about to meet the girl, or should I say, a gem, that would change his life forever. Meanwhile, Jasper was flying on her ship. Peridot, much like Fiona, nagged her to death. Jasper sighed and flipped her hair. She wanted to meet somebody who would understand her troubles. Although, she too had to go to Tumblr High. So, she flew the ship down to Earth and went into her school.

At Tumblr High, Shrek met many other troubled men, such as Paul Blart, who was constantly being called names, like " Paul Blart Mega Machine Sock Flop Mop ". Pepe was heartbroken, as Lenny broke up with him. Shrek shook his head and walked off to gym class. There, he met Jasper, who was lifting weights. Shrek laughed at her. Suddenly, Jasper pounced on Shrek and punched him in the face. All the girls made a loud " SQUEEE! " because, as Jasper told them, that she pounces on those she loves. Shrek screamed and punched Jasper! Jasper was furious and fought back! Then, Coach Mod Tails came up and sent them both to detention.

In detention, Shrek and Jasper didn't say a word to each other. They glared at each other and shook heads. Shrek, the first to talk, looked at Jasper and blushed.

" S-s-s-so, Jasper, I-Im sorry for laughing at you. "

Jasper rolled her eyes.

" Don't do that to me, human! " she yelled.

Shrek blushed even more and replied: " Oh, I'm n-not a human.. I'm an ogre. "

" Whatever! " Jasper yelled, walking out of the room, going to Shipping 101 Class.

Shrek sighed.

" One day, I will tell you that you are my senpai, Jasper Meme Cheeto. " Shrek thought to himself.