Your lips my lips, Apocalypse (Lapril)

"Break"

Every morning I wake up and April isn't laying on my chest, my heart breaks a little more. I can't do this. I don't want to do this. I want April. She's all I want. I don't know if I can go on another day without her.

I get out of bed 20 minutes after my alarm and slide on some sweats and a sweatshirt. I trudge downstairs to grab some coffee and a banana. April was always on me to eat healthier. I guess chips and burgers don't cut it at 27.

I walk into the kitchen to see Alex, Jackson, Derek, and Mer all getting ready. April walks in behind me, looking just as rough.

"Damn you two look like shit!" Alex calls out as he fills up his thermos.

"Shut up." We say in unison. I turn around and make eye contact with her. She stares into my eyes for a few seconds then quickly moves her vision to her feet. I've missed looking into her gorgeous emerald eyes so much. I turn back around and head to the coffee pot. I reach out for it as April does the same. Our hands land on the handle at the same time.

"Oh shit sorry." April says backing up.

"Oh it's ok." I try and laugh but it makes it more awkward. I fill up my thermos and hand her the pot. "You driving Mer?" I say as I try and rush out of the kitchen.

"Yeah he in the car in 5!" She shouts as I leave. I sit in the living room waiting to go to work. The kitchen door swings open and Jackson walks out to the living room.

"Hey you ok?" He says as he sits down next to me, too close for comfort. Our shoulders touch as I make eye contact with him.

"Uh yeah why?"

"You were acting kinda weird in there." Jackson says as he puts his hand on my knee. I put my hand over his and pretend for a second he's April. She's the only person I wanna hold hands with. He flips his hand over and intertwines our fingers. I smile awkwardly at him and he grins at me.

If I'm being honest, I don't like him that much. I feel like he's way too cocky but he's the "perfect guy". I guess I'll pretend to be head over heals for him. It also doesn't hurt that he's good friends with April. Just as she crosses my mind she walks into the living room. Her eyes shoot to our hands to me then back to our hands then back to me.  I quickly unlock our fingers and stand up to go into the car. We all rush out the door and April stares at me, sorrow in her eyes.

We get to the hospital and I bolt out of the car. I run up to the resident locker room and get changed quickly to avoid April.

"Hey where you running off to?" Jackson says, grabbing my hand as I try to leave.

"Oh just rounds. I don't wanna be late."

"Who's service are you on today?"

"Uh Derek." I say trying to leave the room.

"Same." He says grinning from ear to ear. I look past his "gorgeous" head to find April. She's holding her shirt in her hand and staring at us.

"Uh cool." I say pulling him out of the locker room. We begin our walk to Shepherds first patient as Jackson puts his arm around my waist. I just try and block it out, pretending April is the one touching me.

"We're early to rounds. We got like 15 minutes. Wanna have a quick visit to the on-call room?" He smirks. I hate men so much. All they ever want is sex. I turn around and see April walking the other way.

"Fuck it." I say pulling him into the on call room next to us. He pins me up against the door and start's aggressively kissing me. He kisses me like he's trying to devour me. I just pretend it's April but it's hard cause April kisses me delicately like she loves me.

He lifts my shirt above my head and starts kissing my neck. I pull his shirt up to reveal his steel cut abs. I run my hand down them and pull down his scrub pants. I kick my sneakers off and pull my pants down. He snakes his hand around and unclips up bra. He slides is off my shoulders and begins kissing my right breast. I moan uncontrollably. He pulls my lacy red underwear and lifts me up.

He tosses me onto the bed and straddles me. He pulls his boxers down to reveal his 12" rock hard cock. I bite my lip at the size of it. He bends over to his pants and pulls out a condom from the pocket.

"Were you keeping that in there for an emergency?" I giggle.

"I was keeping it in there for you." He smiles. He lines himself up and thrusts into me. I moan and he sticks two fingers in my mouth. I suck on them as his huge cock destroys me. I can't help moaning. I try and imagine April but it's hard cause last time I checked she didn't have a 12" penis. And Jackson sure did. I feel myself start to get close as my walls start to tighten.

"Oh fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK!" I scream out. "IM CUMMING IM CUMMING UGHHHH!"

"ME TOO UGHHH!" His thrusts slow as we both finish. He exits as flips onto his back. "Fuck. That was good."

"Yeah." But all I can think about is April. I fucked up.