weezer kidnaps you and adopts you

Part 3 - The British hellspawns versus Scott.

*This chapter is very Anti-Beatle so to all you Beatles fans, here's your trigger warning incase I make you cry boo hoo fuck yall 🤣

After being in heaven for a moment, you're suddenly back on earth back in your bedroom.

"Jesus Christ what the dogshit happened to me?" You question. You stand up and find yourself still in your pajamas, some plaid pajama pants and a Raditude Weezer album shirt. You check your phone and realize it's Saturday, you remember you were at a party Friday night and did a bit too much acid and that the previous experience was likely a dream.

"Holy fuck god damnit, I was high as shit." You say and rub your head. You are about to put the phone down, when all of a sudden, you see your Spotify notification. It shows you have.. The Beatles playing? You never play The Beatles! You look across the room onto your beanbag where your headphones are, and you put them on. As soon as they're on, you black out.

It's entirely dark, but you slowly regain your vision. You're not in your room, but however in a 1960s styled bar. You get up off the floor. You look around cluelessly, but you lay your eyes on a booth with four men sitting in it. Could it be? John Lennon, George Harrison, Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney sat there, and you looked in shock.

You're a Beatlephobe.

You run around the bar trying to find a door, but to no avail, you're trapped. You keep your distance from the not-so fabulous four, worried what would happen. You assure yourself you're probably still recovering from the acid last night, so you try to keep calm. You run into the bathroom and hide in a stall. You sit on the restroom floor with your back to the wall, but just your luck, John walks in a few minutes later.

"Oy I've got'ta take a fat shet, 'urry the fakkap!!" He yells in his repulsive British voice as he bangs on your stall because apparently he couldn't go to another. You start panicking, but then Ringo comes in.

"Oy Jawn ad'dafak ye makin' all'is noise in 'ere fer??" He asks John in his awful disgusting accent that I'm honestly not sure if some of them even have.

"Some little cunt won't get out'ta stawl!!" John whined. Just then, you hear another person enter, and you fear it's another Beatle, but then a gunshot goes off and you look under the stall and see John fall to the floor.

You gasp. "MARK DAVID CHAPMAN??"

"What?" You hear a familiar voice say.

"GOT DAMNIT SCOTT YOU'VE KILLED JAWN!!!" Ringo says. It's Scott! Scott Shriner! Scott opens your stall door and you see John's body lying on the floor, bleeding out of his head. Scott picks you up and quickly runs out of the restroom, shooting Ringo on the way out. In the main room of the bar, he takes out Paul and George. He makes a run for it as you try to hold onto him. As you run down the olden city streets, you wonder how Scott is even there.

"How the fuck did you get here, Scott??"

"I've got my ways, kid." He says, and he stops next to a car. He breaks the window and unlocks the door, throws you in the back and he pounds on the front to get the car to start, then you two drive off, speeding down the street. You soon notice cops after you.

"Jesus Christ, Scott, why would you kill John Lennon?? Now in the future all these nerdy virgin boys probably won't exist cause you won't be able to join Weezer and you're a crucial part!!!" You ask.

"I'm like the last Weezer member anyone can name, what the fuck are you talking about?" Scott questions. "There's other people to take my place."

"Well..." You say, unable to finish your thought. Scott speeds up as the police chase you two down the streets, he tries to throw them off his tail but they keep following.

"Kid, make sure your seatbelt is on." Scott says. You don't question it, you put your seatbelt on. Then, Scott turns off the road into grass and gravel, maneuvering through trees.

"Jesus Christ Scott what the fuck are you doing!" You ask, but he doesn't answer. He gets back on the road and drives into a large building, breaking down the glass window in front. He drives through many objects and stands before exiting through a large window in the back. You hope you come down off the acid soon, this shits getting too real. As you two drive down the street, another car pulls up beside you, two guys are in it and they pull up right beside you and break down your window and pull you out and into their car.

"SCOTT HELP!!" You shout, but the car that took you swerved away and turned around. You look at the two men in the car, it's George Harrison and Paul McCartney. Apparently, they didn't die, Scott just shot two random British men.

"Oy kid, the fak'kid that man take ya fer??" George asks in his probably annoying British voice.

"GET AWAY FROM ME JESUS CHRIST OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK NO NO NO LET ME DIE INSTEAD GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!!!" You yell as you kick and hit George. He holds you down to the seat.

"Jesus fak'kin Christ! What'se matter wit'tye??"

"It's probably one of those autisms." Paul says because I think he's the least British one I don't remember, I've only ever seen The Beatles cartoon to go off of voices.

"YES I'M AUTISTIC BUT THAT'S ONLY HALF OF IT. GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME JESUS CHRIST I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF!!!" You say and wiggle out of George's grasp and open the door and jump onto the road. You quickly run off of the road and start running back the way Scott drove, hoping he'd come back. You didn't make it far before you fell to the grass. After a moment, you wake up in your room.

"Holy.. shit." You say, and then you freak out and pull your headphones off. You look back at your phone, "Playing from reccomended."

You then block The Beatles on Spotify, and go to get a drink. "Dear fucking god, never doing acid again."

Don't do acid kids, especially if you're a Beatlephobe.