Difficult Choices

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When the princes did not see Nyssa at the Dining Hall at breakfast, they began to worry. They were used to seeing her every morning. This was the first time she missed the morning meal since she came to Erebor. Was she ill, or was she so embarrassed by last night's behavior that she was purposely avoiding them?

If that was the case, Fili felt compelled to find her and explain his situation. He was the next Durin in line, the heir apparent, and to have a relationship with someone other than a dwarrowdam (preferably one from a noble family) would be cast out. Not only by his uncle but also the council. He also had a more personal reason.

Fili was already in love with another. At least he thought he was. She was from a noble family, now that her father was given the high position as king. She had the respect of her people, not just because of her father. She, and her brother, were instrumental in rebuilding their city to match the strength of Erebor. There was much work left to do, but Sigrid was prepared to take on the challenge.

If she were a dwarf, she would have the approval (and blessings) of both the dwarf council and King Thorin. But, the fact that she was human would prove to be the greatest obstacle. Fili knew that their union would never be accepted no matter what Sigrid had accomplished with her new position. Fili often imagined taking Sigrid away in the night and marrying her in secret.

He wondered what it would be like to work as a simple blacksmith like Thorin once did to raise his family in a village far away from the Lonely Mountain. Would Sigrid agree to such an outrageous plan? It would be difficult for the both of them. They would be far away from their family and friends, far away from help of any kind.

His mother would kill him if he did that. Not to mention, being a disappointment in Thorin's eyes was something that he could not bear. He loved his uncle dearly.

Thorin helped raise the princes like they were his own children. He took on the role of father figure ever since their own father died in battle when they were very young. He loved those boys and took great pride in their training, especially Fili.

He knew what it was like to grow up with so much responsibility for his position and wanted Fili to succeed both in his future reign and his personal life. But, Fili knew that Thorin did not foresee his nephew, trading it all in for a human. It would devastate everyone. No, he could not bear to see his uncle disappointed in him. He could not do that to his family, nor hers.

After breakfast, Fili and Kili began searching the mountain for Nyssa. They checked all the usual places that she seemed interested in during their tour of the mountain last evening, but Nyssa was no where to be found. Fili became increasingly anxious to speak with her. He felt that he could not do anything else until he saw her first.

In fact, Fili was so focused on finding Nyssa that he was practically sprinting down the corridors toward the living quarters. There was no other place she could be but in her room. He had to find her to set things straight between them.

"Look, brother, if I didn't know you better, I would say that you are obsessed with this woman. Are you curious to see what other talents Analyn is hiding from us?" Kili asked in a joking manner to lighten his brother's mood.

But, Fili merely threw his brother a stern look while he continued maneuvering through the crowd of dwarves. He knew that Kili was teasing him, but he was in no mood for laughs until he finished what he had set out to do.

Kili frowned when he saw Fili's reaction and closed his mouth for the remaining period. He did not know what to make of his brother's behavior. He was hoping that Fili had not formed an attachment to her for many reasons.

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