Fine lines

Chapter 17

                                                                                                Tate

Everything keeps shifting and I don't know how to handle it. I'm overwhelmed by the sense of feeling my body change and my mindset turn in a new direction in every place I seek for hibernation from a situation. I'm either rattled with anxiety, fueled with fire of anger or I'm completely drifting away. Wyatt's been nothing but calm amongst the chaos. The chaos being my mind. I haven't talked about Bryson or any related trauma activity in my brain since I met Ivy. I thought I could brave the next run in with him, I thought it wouldn't hit me like an arrow through my chest. Watching him eye me the way he did, under his scrutiny the darkened look practically pierced right through me. It terrified me. I definitely didn't think it would still be affecting me the next day.
When I woke up in Wyatt's arms, he was still asleep. I stared at him for a moment wishing this was the only place I had to be for the rest of my life. I was grateful I had him in this moment, I never looked at Bryson like that once. I tried so hard to be the person he wanted me to be only to learn I didn't have to be anyone for him. I sometimes blame myself for letting it get out of hand as it did, as I only have myself to blame. But I try to remember I didn't know any better.
I get out of the bed to head to the bathroom and check myself to make sure I don't look like a tired sad mess to be seen before he awakens, letting out a deep drawn out sigh and groan at the thought today and how I need it to be over, because ever since Mom died I haven't had an enjoyable birthday.
-

The boys invited me to their training session just to watch.

No photo's. Just watch and hang out.

I sit by the stands and watch them skate around with ease, I get jealous watching how they float along the ice as if they're practically flying. Wyatt passing smiles every time he comes across my side of the rink is killing me, in the best way possible. Apparently they're renovating the rink and upgrading their sound systems and screens for more crowd involvement, means training the next day after a big game.. which in my opinion is kind of dangerous when they haven't rested. Dad hasn't been around as far as I'm concerned and considering the other coach is training them I wouldn't be surprised if he never showed up today even though he was supposed to be back for the game last night and never was. I sit in one of the empty team boxes watching, I'm close enough to hear all the conversations.
"Alright boys, that's enough for today." Coach Kingsley dismisses the team early. It's unusual and rare but sometimes when you've got a nice coach they let you go early. "What's the reason for the early finish?" Wyatt asks, I watch the coach turn to him with a subtle smile on his face "It's my daughter's birthday and I want to be home for it."
"Oh that's sweet sir, how old?" Grabbing the rest of his things and putting them in a briefcase to take with him he continues "4 today, she is the sweetest of my kids, but don't tell my other kids I said that." I share a birthday with a 4 year old. He heads off and says goodnight. The boys are still on the ice mucking around. It's nice to see them relaxed at training. "T, you coming out?" Wyatt skates to the bench where I am "God no!" I practically shriek and he laughs at me. He comes off the ice and disappears into the locker room reentering with skates in his hand. Oh hell no. I can skate. Kind of. But I don't want to in front of these guys.
"Please darling, put the skates on. We won't tease you.. Much." I look down at the skates, over to the boys on the ice then into Wyatt's eyes. Damn it, I shouldn't have done that. He looks so sincere and trusting. I've lost this battle. "Fine, give me a minute." I take off my shoes and put the skates on, walking over to the open gate I feel like a baby giraffe taking its first steps. It really has been a while. Wyatt takes my hand and helps me onto the ice, I slip a little as soon my blade touches the ice, but he catches me. "I told you this was a bad idea"
"Trust your feet, that's all you need to do" He was right, I let my feet do the talking and I finally found my balance.
After a few laps I start to get the hang of things again. It's been maybe 5 years since I have been skating, I only ever went skating with my Mom. Wyatt let go of my hand two laps in. Once he knew I'd be okay he heads back to the boys for a little. I hold onto the railing for a little longer when I think I'm going to fall but my body does all the talking. He skates back over to me with an extra stick in his hand.
"You can't be the coach's daughter and not know how to play."
"Wyatt, this is crazy, I'll fall on my ass." He holds out the stick until I finally give in, sliding the puck over and I look up at the others waiting on me yelling out words of encouragement.
"Come on T try get it past him"