Fine lines

Chapter 23

Tate

That tattoo. That stupid lipstick kiss tattoo on her shoulder.. I can't get both visions out of my head now. Her with Bryson last year in the bedroom upstairs the same one Bryson trapped me in and her in Wyatt's bed. I don't understand how I let this happen, I've always been able to see right through people and I knew things were getting bad with Bryson last year when I needed to end it so why wouldn't I do the same thing now. There's too much drama attached to this and I can't be involved in it.
Nothing makes sense anymore.
I haven't gotten out of bed and it's almost 12pm. This is the saddest I've felt since I broke up with Bryson, but honestly this feels more painful. More grief stricken and way more unexpected. Every time I start building up all the why and how it got to this and where it went wrong, what signs did I miss? The tears build up with it before I explode into a breakdown and I think I've had about five this morning. With no sleep and nothing to eat I feel horrible. My stomachs in knots and it's making me want to throw up. It's only been a whole day since it happened I have so many missed calls and texts from Ivy, I've spoken two words to my grandparents, I can't talk without choking up and it makes me feel stupid. I know he wanted me to believe him but how could I? In what world would she just be in his house when he isn't and taken the picture with the Polaroid camera he gave me. Which I left there and may not ever since again..

Someone knocks on my door. "Tate? Are you up honey?" I quickly wipe the tears away before sitting upright in bed as Grandma opens the door gently.
"I know you're not okay but do you need anything" I choke the tears down and shaking my head. Not really knowing what to answer at this point. I haven't said anything to them about what happened, all they know is I stormed inside after Kylo dropped me home, who also kept trying to talk to me and rationalise me but it was no use. I was completely disorientated and couldn't burn the image out of my head if I tried.
All she knows is after storming through the house drenched from the rain, I slammed the bedroom shut and fell onto the floor. At least 20 seconds later she walked in with a towel wrapping it around me leaning me against the bed. I said nothing. I cried. She held me for 2 hours.

"You don't have to talk to me yet if you're not up for it, but I know someone who wants to see you first" Looking at her confused she opens the door a little further when I see Ivy standing there with a suitcase in hand and I immediately lose it. I jump out of my bed as she meets me in the middle of the room hugging me. I don't know why she's here or if she knows but it couldn't be at a better time. "I'll leave you girls to it" I quickly let go of Ivy walking over to Grandma hugging her before she leaves too and she hugs me back twice as hard. I take a deep breath when she lets go, letting me know it's okay and that she will still be here later. Shutting the door with her I turn around to Ivy.

"Did you miss me?" She asks cheekily, I shake my head with a quivering smile not knowing whether to cry less or more that she's here.
"Of course I did, but what, what are you doing here?"
"You didn't talk to me for an entire day, and the last time you did that to me was when you failed an exam, had a shit date that night and your Dad was an asshole to you on the anniversary of your Mom's death. I came back to the room later that day watching you cry,feeling like a mess, you slept in your date dress and let your phone die. I ain't stupid"
She's right she's not, she didn't leave me alone the entire week after that happened. Maybe that day was second worst to being cheated on by Bryson.

"What about your exams?"
"I'm all prepped and I have heaps of time before I go back to start them. Don't worry about me, you look like you haven't slept and you've been crying enough to fill a pond so what's going on?"
She sits me back down on my bed and waits for me to start talking. She holds my hands in her lap as I struggle through most of it, I can barely say his name without tearing up or stuttering. I start from the effortless text I got the other night and how it made me feel to it leading up to this. The more I tell her the more I keep thinking into overdrive and a thought does cross my mind. If I wasn't with Wyatt he was either at hockey or asleep. It was rare if we weren't together or texting. Which the times apart never bothered me but they weren't long either. But I can't work out when she would've been there in the short time I slipped away without the other boys knowing? Especially when Derek lives there, Sophia visit's all the time depending on her shift work and Kylo practically living most of the other time. I can't shake the possibility that it didn't happen the way it looks, but I also don't know if I can shake the feeling that it did happen exactly the way it looks.